Free Bird

Gahhhhhhhhhhh!


I just took a very, very long nap. It was one of those intense naps where I was doing crazy things in my sleep like yelling "Are you fucking serious?" when music started blaring from no where and when the phone rang I answered it screamed "GAHHHHHHH!" and hung it up, then when they called back I simply didn't answer. I'm usually not an aggravated sleeper and I wasn't even that tired before I fell asleep but apparently I was not having any interruptions today. It must have been the delicious meal my Grammy and Aunt Kathy made today. Holly and I went over and had dinner with them, and let me tell you, we do not do this enough. They make the best food, but I guess the best food always comes from a grandmas house.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this whole blogging project and how I could probably fail repeatedly and no one would notice. I know that there isn't anyone reading this, for one they would have to comment and tell me to stop whining with as much as I complain lately, and for two NO ONE COMMENTS. It's not that I necessarily feel like people should be commenting, but even when I have good days and I talk about important things, I still get nothing. You would think that would bother me right? Writing a blog every day and no one reads it. Honestly though, I don't care. I started off thinking that people might read it, but also know that I was doing it for myself. Now that I know people don't read it and I know it's 100% for me, I kind of like it better. I don't have to worry about what people are going to think. If I want to cuss, I'll cuss, if I want to talk crap about George Soros I will (yeah right, I'd never talk crap about Soros, he's my main man.) The point is, as much as the people in my life matter to me, it doesn't matter that they don't read my blog for whatever reason. I kind of like it that way. It sort of makes me feel free...

'Cause I'm as free as a bird now...

Faith

Chile and Tsunamis

Jesus,

Complete devastation. I turned on the news this morning to hear the news of another earthquake. This time the country of Chile has hit with an 8.8 earthquake that set off massive tsunami warnings all across the Pacific coast. As of right now most of the tsunami warnings have been canceled. I believe the only places still under warning are Russia and Japan. There were several small tsunami waves that hit all over but it doesn't seem like anything caused much damage besides the earthquake it self. From what I've heard there is a death toll of 247 right now. I'm so relieved that the number isn't as high as I would have expected with an earthquake this size. Chile is still assessing it's damages and they don't seem to be sure how bad of an impact the quake had on them yet. I can only hope that the death toll does not keep rising, the world has had enough loss in the past few months. I feel deeply for the people of Chile and I hope that as much help can get to them as quickly as possible. I also hope that people don't forget that Haiti still needs our help, we need to split our resources appropriately. Both countries still desperately need help.

I spent most of the day watching CNN and crying, it's really a tough thing to handle and I can't imagine being in such a situation. I had to go to church at 6 to see my niece take the first step to her first communion, so even though I'm not a terribly religious person, I took the opportunity to pray for the world, Chile and Haiti in particular. I spend most of the last five years of my life rebelling against the idea of God and though I still have problems fully accepting Him, I do know that I feel better when I attend Church. I've gone twice in the last several months, the first time on Christmas and the second time tonight. Both times were refreshing, and it made me feel closer to my Aunt Kathy. She is the greatest person I know, and I feel like I can never be close enough to her. It's a very hard feeling to explain. I've just never known such a good person.

Anyway, I hope that eventually I can get a Chile relief support button like I have for Haiti. It is IMPERATIVE that we keep both countries in our thoughts and we get back into the roll of helping as much as we can. It's time for the world to come together, I want to see you with me.

Tomorrow I have a tiny plan for the blog that I think will spark some interested. I'll see you then..

Faith

Frustrations!

So,

Has anyone noticed that for the last week or so I've completely stopped proof reading. I've gotten to a point where I still force myself to write, but I only do it so that I won't fail. People have told me there would be times where I just don't want to write at all, but that I just have to push through it. So hear I am, day 51 and I'm dragging ass. I'm irritated and on the verge of snapping. For the last two hours all that I've heard is my seven year old niece CONTINUOUSLY screaming, yelping, jumping, smacking the dog, growling, and whatever other noise she can make to get on my nerves. Can you imagine trying to write when you don't want to and having to listen to that crap? I mean I can't yell at her because I love her and know she is just an oddly hyper little girl, not that yelling out make her stop anyway. I swear I am on the verge of locking the dog outside for the rest of the day.

Anyway, in the 10 minutes since I wrote that beginning paragraph she has somehow transformed into Angel Autumn and is quietly eating cookies and milk on the bar stool. She must have sensed my irritation. I mean honestly it's probably just me. Normally I would be able to deal with what she was doing but not lately. I've been completely on edge and pissed off for days. Usually I have no trouble at all coming up with things to talk about but it seems that day in and day out on the blog I'm just chattering away about what goes on in my life. THAT.IS.BORING. Trust me, I know, I live it daily. So, I do want to apologize for being a lame ass on the blog lately, and for not proof reading anything. I'd also like to say I'm sorry for this completely bi polar post. Hopefully now that I've laid out my frustrations (even though I still don't really know what's causing them) I'll be able to get back to myself and be passionate and funny again.

HOPEFULLY.

We'll see what tomorrow brings..

Faith

Now I Realize

Yo,

I was standing in K Mart today buying toilet paper with my sister when she mentioned being busy with something on Saturday. The first thing I thought was "What am I going to do on Saturday then?" and the first thing out of my mouth was "God, I've got to get some friends." It's so true, I've been relying on hanging out with my sister and her friends for so many months now that I never noticed the complete lack of my own friends in my life. The last time I hung out with anyone my age was several weeks ago when Hilary and Katelynn came up here and we went to see Dear John. It's horrible.

So what I'm really trying to say here is that if you're my friend you better start hanging out with me more, and if you're not my friend, you better start hanging out with me. I've got to break out and get my own life. It's pathetic. On a daily basis the only people I talk to are a 32 year old, a 13 year old and a 7 year old. Don't get me wrong I love them more than life but I'm just beaten down.

But since I'm on the subject of hanging out with seven year olds, today Autumn and I had a Paranormal State marathon. It was awesome. Um, clearly I have nothing to talk about today. So whatever.

Faith

Idol and Ice Skating

I'm late!

I've meant to get to this all day long but every time I tried I got distracted, mainly by the ABUNDANCE of snow we got, again. I swear I've shoveled snow every single day this week. It sucks!

Aside from shoveling and driving kids around I've had a pretty unproductive day. I've watched a few movies, shoveled some more snow, watched the news, and now I'm in the mist of American Idol. I don't know why I get so wrapped up in this crap. I think it's probably because of all handsome guys. There is one in particular that I dig right now but I can see lots of potential for me to hate him later on. He sort of makes me think he could go in the David Cook way, which I would absolutely hate. David Cook irritates me more than probably anyone besides Adam Lambert. Why do people even like Adam Lambert anyway? He's SCREAMS and screeches and it pisses me off!!!!!!!!! There is no reason what so ever for people to pay attention to him. He seriously deserves to be punched in the face.

Okay, so now that I ranted on, and on I'm feeling a little bit better. Did anyone see that girl who arrived to ice skate at the Olympics and upon arrival her mother passed away from a heart attack? I watched her skate today, and I balled my eyes out. She was pretty good and I was completely amazed at how she held it together so much, even managing to smile a few times. I have a lot of respect for her, I know how hard it is to lose a parent and how those first days and weeks are completely crippling. I couldn't imagine having to perform in front of basically the entire world just days after my dad had passed away. I feel for her, I truly do. I know she's Canadian and all but I honestly hope that she wins just so that there will be some kind of satisfaction in her life in the coming days. Besides losing a child I don't think that there is any feeling worse than losing your parent. So, I'm rooting for her. I just wish I remembered her name, and clearly I'm too lazy to look it up.

Oh well, maybe I'll remember by tomorrow. I'm sleepy, time for bed!

Nighty night!
Faith

Buy a Ticket, Take the Ride.

Guys! Girls!

I have so much I want to say right now. In the last hour and a half of my life I have been inspired beyond words. I feel lost, like I running through a maze of thoughts in my head and I can't seem to figure out which way I want to turn. Two things happened to me, both mildly main stream but both equally meaningful and beautiful in the most poetic way. I am 100% sure that I'm not going to properly be able to put these thoughts down but I AM going to give it my best shot.

All right, so event number one took place at about 11:30am. I was folding towels so I turned on the TV and checked to see what was on the DVR. To my delight there was a recording of this new documentary show that's been on MTV called Jersey Shore. No, I'm just kidding, the show was actually The Buried Life. It's about four guys in their twenties, Ben, Duncan, Jonnie, and Dave. They're from Canada and they decided to jump on a bus, and set out around North America trying to check off as many things as they can on their list of "Things to do before I die." For every one thing that they even TRY to accomplish, they find a stranger and help them accomplish something on their list. It seriously is the most beautiful, passionate thing I've ever encountered. Not only are these guys setting out to make sure their lives are worth living, but they're helping make other people's lives worth it too. This is the kind of thing that I was stressing about weeks ago. It's time to start living life, and helping as many people as possible on the way.

Event number two happened at about 12:15pm. I was looking at Twitter, of course reading Nicole Richie's tweets and she mentioned something about listening to a song that Benji Madden recorded. It was an Elliot Smith 'Between the Bars' cover and was absolutely beautiful. The thing that got me though is the blog that Benji wrote along with it. Even though he has serious issues about not capitalizing his letters, it was still a really emotional and heartfelt blog, I loved it. In almost every single line he was gushing about how the fans are his family, and that he knows he can't please everyone all the time, but that it hurts him when he lets people down. I don't know Benji personally, but he has a way of making me feel like I do. I can say with almost complete certainty that he is probably one of the most stand up, genuine guys in the music business. There is a specific passage from that blog that I want to share with you all. It is moving and I know, 100% real:

"As i have made this record i keep imagining you guys putting in your headphones and turning on your ipods to listen to it for the 1st time and i keep asking myself, what are the things i want to say to you, in that moment, when it's just YOU and ME. That is what matters the most to me on this record. You have been with us for 10 years now. Some less,Some more. All of u equally important, and in that moment, I want you to feel the connection i am trying to make with you. It's what has gotten me thru all the challenges in my life, this music and it's what we share. I hope you will feel it. From beginning to end. In the Emotional songs, the party songs, the ballads, the rockers and the Anthems."

I've met people in my lifetime who can express their emotions in a similar way to what we just saw from Benji but I promise you that those people are few and far between. It saddens me that there are not more people like Benji Madden and The Buried Life guys. We were giving emotions, feelings and empathy for a reason. I only wish more people knew how to use them.

The world is a beautiful place, but it's not always good. I've said it once, and I will say it a million more times. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. We can CHANGE the world. If you're not interested in changing the world than my only advice for you is to look in the mirror, take a long, hard look - and change your life.

Just think about it -

Faith

Here are some links you might want to take note of:

http://goodcharlotte.com/profiles/blogs/a-cluea-cover-and-cardiology
http://theburiedlife.com/blog/

(I still can't seem to get my links to work, if someone could help me out on that I'd greatly appreciate it.)

Snow? AGAIN?

Greetings Bloglings -

I sincerely hope that where ever you are and whatever you're doing that you're doing it with no snow in sight. Last night we got HAMMERED with it, AGAIN. This is the second time that all of the snow melted and then we get dumped on with snow the next day. I HATE it. I hate being cold, I hate shoveling snow, I hate slipping on ice, and I most certainly hate wearing pants. I'm beginning to have a horrible feeling that on St. Patrick's Day this year I won't be sitting on my porch with flip flops, a t shirt and jeans on, drinking green beer like I did last year. Which let me tell you, royally sucks. I LOVE St. Patrick's Day, I all ready have my outfit picked out for it haha.

Anyway, back to the snow. It took me until about 2pm to muster up enough energy to get outside and shovel the drive way. It seriously took me TWO hours, the snow was SO heavy. Once I was done with that, I was just done. I never made it to the deck so I guess that's a project I have for tomorrow, I'm dreading it. After the shoveling I haven't done much. Hannah came home from her dad's raving about some twice baked potatoes that her grandma made so I took a stab at those. I think they turned out pretty good, I'm sure they would have been better if I had all the ingredients I was suppose to. Oh well. For the rest of the night I have big plans to clean the kitchen and finish up Nicholas Sparks' 'The Choice.' It took a crazy turn I wasn't expecting last night, so I'm pretty eager to see the outcome, though I think I can guess. After that it's on to 'Dear John.'

Oh! So I recently downloaded Google Chrome, and I think I might love it. Though, I've only found a few things that it does that Firefox doesn't do I'm hoping to run across some more. If any of you know some cool feature that it has let me know so I can check it out! I'm excited!! I'm also really tired so this is all you're getting for the night.

Until tomorrow..

Faith

Hannah

Haaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

I was just sitting here and under my breath I said "Whaaaaaat am I going to blooooog about todaaaaaaaay" and my niece said "You should blog about me!" and I said "All right."

So here I am, blogging about a silly little person who was born on June 20th, 1996. I remember the day perfectly, I was seven years old and my dad was pacing back and forth down the hall way of our house with the phone in his hand, sweating like a beast waiting to get the call that his oldest daughter had given birth to his first grandchild. Clearly I was stoked to be an aunt. I'd have my own personal baby doll to set in the basket of my pink streamer bike and tote around the neighborhood. You can only imagine my dismay when I realized my sister was definitely not going to let me put her newborn daughter in my bike basket. I was pissed.

Eventually I got over it though, and she got to the point where she wasn't a newborn baby and I could slap her around a little bit. That's when the going got fun. Though we didn't interact much during the first few years of her life because I wasn't interested in kids that were littler than I was. Once she turned about six or seven she became pretty fun, but then immediately turned into a little brat. I honestly don't remember much of her (besides the time I almost let her drown and the time I gave her head lice) up until 2008. This is when she was suddenly not made of bones, muscles and tissue anymore, but made of awesome. I don't know what happened that made her so cool, but we sort of became friends.

I moved in with her, her sister and her mom (my sister) in September of 2008 and I honestly can't imagine my life without these girls. They've became my heart and soul and the thought of life with out any of them pains me terribly.

Hannah, I want you to know that I love you, even if I bitch at you from time to time and I simply can not stand teenagers and their sloppiness. There isn't a thing in the world you could do that would make me care for you less. I hope that you achieve everything in life that you could possibly want. The world is expecting great things from you, but no matter what you do, make sure to never disappoint yourself. Or your parents because they will slap you up.

Until tomorrow, I suggest that you read the blog from January 17th titled Letter #1 - My Future Children.

Faith

Drunk!

This just in: I make terrible decisions when I drink. Oh well. I'm over it enough to go out again tonight. I'm unstoppable!

Anywho, last night my niece's dad and his girlfriend came and picked me up and we went to watch his girlfriend's sister's band play at US12. Big shocker, right? Faith was at US12...AGAIN. I swear that place and Stockdale's are my homes away from home on the weekends. Anyway, I drank a lot of Jagerbombs and Bud Lights, which probably wasn't a good idea seeing as if you drink on Zantac it increases your blood alcohol lever significantly. I was probably good to go after the fourth Jagerbomb but for some reason ended up doing shots of Soco Lime. I felt like I was in a Brand New music video. It was awesome, until I realized I was waaaaasted. The bad thing about being so wasted and closing down Stockdale's was that I had to pick up my niece and her friends from a church lock-in at 6am.

So, I made it home and to sleep by 3am, and woke up at 5:30am to the phone ringing. It was Hannah telling me that her friend's mom was going to pick them up. I swear, Jesus really does love me. I felt okay to drive and get her but I can almost guarantee that if I had actually got pulled over I would have went to jail. So thank God for being a Free Bird.

Today I didn't do much. I stopped in at the office for a second to make cards for cancer patients and then went to JC Penny with Holly, our Aunt Kathy and Autumn to look for Autumn's first communion dress. We failed at that. Then we all came home and have basically been chilling out.

Now I'm going to eat some Chef Boyardee and get in the shower. What goes on tonight? I do not know! Only time will tell!

Until tomorrow..

Faith

Trails and Bargaining

Welp,


Autumn woke me up this morning by yelling "AUNT FAITH, I THINK I MISSED THE BUS!" and missed the bus she did. So she's been hanging out with me today. I decided not to cancel hitting the trail just because she's home, so I took her with me. It was actually a lot of fun. We took some fun pictures and she bargained with an old man about trading dogs. She apparently wants to have a "blonde lab" and not our wonderful chocolate one. I called the mans dog a "yellow lab" and she had to correct me and let me know that it is actually blonde. Seven year olds are weird. Either way, the old guy wasn't having any of it. Apparently he likes his blonde lab too.

After the trail was over I REALLY had to pee so we went back home, peed, and headed back into the park with our Macie Dog in tow. I honestly don't know how we ended up with the best dog ever in the world, but we did. We didn't have a leash on her the whole time and she was a perfect little angel. So Autumn and I played on the swings and laughed at construction workers for a while and decided to come home.

Since then, we've kind of just been hanging out not doing much. I started reading Nicholas Sparks' 'The Choice' and I really dig it so far. Hopefully it keeps getting better. I don't have much planned for the rest of the day. I haven't been feeling GREAT since I woke up so I don't know if I want to venture out into the world quite yet. If something good enough comes along I might be up for it, but right now I feel like sleeping again. I always just want to sleep! We'll see though, maybe I can drag myself up tonight.

That seems to be about it for day, I swear someday I WILL blog about something you might care about. Until then, I'll leave you with a few of my favorite photos from the day!







See ya tomorrow!

Faith

Willy the Wizard!!!!!!!!!

I have absolutely nothing to say. I've been racking my brain for hours trying to come up with something good to write about. All that came from that was me sleeping sitting up for four hours - in the middle of the day. I thought that if I stopped taking my elixir I might be able to stay away during the day today. Not a chance, not taking it actually made me sleep longer! I think it's probably a mix of medicine, loneliness, and boredom. I seriously need to go on a date. This is getting ridiculous.I'm going to stop waiting for people to ask and start being in charge and tell guys what's going on. Ha.

So anyway, what goes on with this Adrian Jacob's dude? He died over 10 years ago and his estate is claiming that J.K Rowling stole his idea of "Willy the Wizard" and made it into Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Apparently in 1987 Jacobs showed Bloosbury his Willy and now his family is trying to say that Rowling ripped him off, four years after the last Harry Potter book came out. Now let me just say that I can see how this would be logical, she CLEARLY ripped off the Specters in Philip Pullman's 'His Dark Materials' and made them into Dementors. Though I haven't actually read Lord of the Rings, I hear that there are a lot of similarities in those two also. Gandalf, Dumbledore? Google search them both, they're basically long lost brothers. I also am aware that being a writer is difficult, it is almost impossible to be a reader AND a writer and not accidentally rip off someone's story. Things get caught in your brain and you may say something, thinking that it's completely new and witty, when really someone said it to you last month. It happens. JKR is saying that she never read that Willy book, and I believe her, but even if she did read it, I wouldn't hate her for it. SHIT HAPPENS. Sometimes we accidentally seal people's material. It's part of life, get over it and stop whining.

So here is my open letter to Paul Allen (the executor of Adrian Jacob's estate.)

Dear Mr.Allen,

GET OVER IT. You're not going to get a single cent out of Jo Rowling. Perhaps she did steal Mr. Jacob's Willy story. But the chances are high that she didn't. Why do you think that Bloomsbury would have passed up that story YEARS before JK Rowling came to them with it, and then published hers? If it's the same story, OBVIOUSLY they would have published it when it came to them in the first place, nearly 10 years earlier. You're not going to win this battle, please stop making a fool of yourself and let poor Mr. Jacobs rest in peace.

Thank You,
Faith

Day 42 - Is Not Significant

What's up Day 42?!!

Please excuse me if my grammar and spelling is off today. I'm having a hard time seeing things. That freaking green elixir of life that Professor Snape (haha) prescribed me is blurring my vision pretty badly. I know that I shouldn't but I'm seriously considering not taking it anymore. I plan to still take the Zantac but I'm not so sure about the other stuff. I can't get anything done because I'm so tired all the time. It's very uncool.

Other than sickness and blurry vision, life has been pretty kind to me. I looked more into getting back into some classes today and I'm very excited about that. On top of it all, I may have met someone good. It's still pretty early, but all signs point in the right directions. Okay, not all signs but I'm being optimistic here. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. That's enough of that though.

The most important thing for everyone to note is that my 21st birthday is in 49 days, and The Detroit Tiger's Opening Day is in 51 days. This is seriously going to be the best birthday EVER. I hope so anyway. The last like four birthdays I've had I ended up having a pretty cool party days before but on my actual birthday I would just be sitting at home. I DO NOT want to sit at home on my birthday this year. I don't care where I am, it just better not be at home or I might flip my shit. I expect elaborate gifts and kisses. Seriously.

Shit, I have to go now though, Autumn is calling and I need to pick up the little Dancing Princess!

Until tomorrow...
Faith

Bland.

Bland sucks.

All that I've got to indulge myself in today was a Capri Sun, and some white rice. It was awesome, let me tell you. I did find a whole list of things I can eat though, besides the initial rice, bread, and apples that they told me. So I suppose that's a plus. I am feeling a bit better today though, so maybe my doctor isn't as crazy as I thought he was. I suppose producing too much acid is logical. The down side to it all is that I'm SO tired. This minty lime jello tasting elixir is making me so sleepy, and it's also blurring my vision and drying out my mouth. Hopefully it's not with me forever, that would suck to be a living zombie for the rest of time. I have another doctor appointment tomorrow but I'm probably going to cancel it because I looked her up today and it's a pediatrician. I'd only be able to see her for like 40 more days and then I'd have to find someone new. So I'm going to look into finding a doctor I can see on a long term basis. See, I told you guys I was going to start taking care of myself.

I do have other good news today! I've decided to go back to school, this whole not educating myself thing is not working out the way I thought it would. I know that I have deep embedded issues with people telling me what to do, but I think that it would be better than being cooped up and not talking to anyone besides thirteen and seven year old girls. Also a dog. After so long it's bound to make a person crazy. Plus if I'm out and about I probably won't be thinking about how badly I want to eat spicy buffalo wings or something. It's a perfect time to start life on a new foot. Um, I'm also doing this because my sister bitched me out yesterday and like I said I hate when people tell me what to do, so I'm going to do it before she tells me to. I sort of have that "I'm never going to be good enough" complex going on. I'm not really sure where it came from but it's bad to the point where I get super pissed off about it. It's really a horrible thing seeing as I can tie it into basically anything in my life. I hate it.

So I'm turning a new leaf, and I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I know the direction my life is going and I'm a lot more motivated than people give me credit for. Maybe if ANYONE would take the time to smell the roses of my life they would get that. But no one ever does.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Faith

Zantac?! WTF?

Well,

Last night I got to the hospital and they drew some blood, from both arms (bitches) and then I sat in the waiting room for three damn hours. After that I was more mad than I was in pain so I found some nurse and made her take the IV out of my arm and I left. I had made a plan to call a family doctor today and just go in there. So I wake up today and I call the doctor I went to growing up first. I was informed that he wasn't in the office today, I owe him $65, and he doesn't accept my insurance. So then Holly calls a few places and gets me an appointment for Wednesday. We still decide to go into an Urgent Care though, so we headed to one in Canton. I got in immediately, gave a urine sample, then about three hours later they gave me some medicine that made my whole mouth and throat go numb, and some pepcid, and took some blood. The medications didn't work at all in making the pain in my stomach go away but it did make me extremely sleepy. After about two more hours, two blunt force sledding accidents, and several drug addicts later, they came back with my blood and urine test. Everything was normal, no liver, kidney, or gallbladder issues, so good old Doc wrote me a prescription for Zantac and the weird numbing medicine I mentioned previously. Also, he said I can't eat anything for 24 hours, and that for a couple days I need to eat only rice, apples, and bland toast. Bland, bland, bland!

I think he's completely full of shit, and I think even the nurse thought so too. I am going to follow his instructions on the off chance that he knew what he was talking about. Hopefully if I'm not feeling better by Wednesday the new doctor will know what's going on.

In the meantime I have big plans to try and not move much, and look into getting back into school. I'm too bored to not go to school and it's definitely not working out the way I thought it would.

Anyway, it's medicine time so I'll catch ya tomorrow.

Hospital Time!

I can't fail.

But I can't write much right now. I'm getting ready to go to the hospital because I've been having a pretty bad pain around my belly button area. It's been consistently there since Thursday night and I figure I better go get it checked out before something horrible happens hah. I'm pretty nervous seeing as it's been way too long since I've been to the doctor. I have a pretty terrible fear of them so I'm not ready for this.

Anyway, wish me luck and if you're one of those idiots complaining about lost love and crap on Valentine's Day, do us all a favor and shut your pie hole.

If I get back before midnight I might write more.

Faith

Pity Party

Last night I came to a great realization, and it's been eating away at me all night and day. It definitely wasn't my Alexander Graham Bell moment, and I didn't dive further into the Great Perhaps, I dove into complete and utter self pity.

Now, I'm aware that no one likes a pity party but I have officially lost it. I was having a panic attack last night, because I am a hypochondriac, and that's when it hit me that I desperately need my dad. I realized that I literally have a mental need for him. Whenever I was having a panic attack I would call him and no matter what time it was he would sit on the phone with me until it was gone. When I lived with him, I would seriously crawl into bed with him and Kim - at 17.

Having a panic attack is the absolute worst feeling in the entire world, and being a hypochondriac on top of it, always convinced I'm dying, makes it that much more terrible. Something is always hurting or getting ready to explode and as much as my sisters try, they can't make me feel better. If anything I always feel worse. The last two days I've just felt like a low life, head case. I try and try to improve my life, to make it better and there is always something falling out of the sky and into my path. I have got to get a handle on this shit, because I simply can't go on living my life this way. It's eventually going to really kill me.

So that is my realization, that I am a complete failure and a head case. I need help, yet I am too scared to seek it.

Until tomorrow,
Faith

Too Little Time!

I don't have a whole lot of time to put into blogging today. Holly should be home any minute and we're going to start the rest of the preparations for tonight's extravaganza.

I already have the rice crispy treats done, though I nearly ruined them but burning the marshmallows. I also made some chocolate covered strawberries and bananas. They're kind of beautiful. I'm proud of myself.

Other than those things, we still have a lot to do today. We found a whole bunch of cute little recipes we're going to test out. So, like I said, not much time for the blogging world.

I'll see you folks tomorrow, hopefully with fun pictures from the tonight! :)

Faith

31

Yes,

I am such a good sister. Tomorrow Holly is going to have a 31 purse party. This is my plug for her. All you fine ladies should definitely come on over, buy yourself a purse, eat some of the delicious food we're preparing, and naturally, get drunk with us. It is going to be a really fun time and I will feel terribly for you if you miss out. However, while we are definitely a party, we don't have our liquor license, so if you really want to get drunk with us, bring your own beer/wine/liquor/whiskey/rum/sake, whatever. I don't want to pressure you or anything but if you don't come there is a high chance I'll throat punch you. Just sayin'.

In other news, I have a terrible headache. It's kind of to the point where I want to just close my eyes, fall asleep and not wake up until tomorrow.

Woah, hold the phones. I have ABC news on right now, just for some background noise and two very shocking things just wandered into my ears. The first thing being that crazy designer Alexander McQueen committed suicide?!?! WHHHATTT? Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I was a huge fan of his, in fact I regularly made fun of most of his designs but the man HAD.IT.MADE. How are you going to just off yourself? It doesn't ever get THAT bad!

The other thing that made it's way to my ears is that 79% of Americans think that Sarah Palin isn't qualified to be president. Yes folks,that leaves us with 21% of Americans who DO think she's qualified. That's 243,845,846 people (yes, I did use an online calculator) who actually think that woman would make an okay president. That is A LOT of people. So you know I have to ask, WHAT THE FUCK?! She QUIT her job as the governor of Alaska, she doesn't EVER know what she's talking about unless it's about hunting, and she thinks that she has foreign policy experience because the state she QUIT on is close to Russia. That woman is the definition of jackass. I am really ashamed of this new poll, seriously America, wake the hell up.

The last thing I have for you all today is the news that Barack Obama is delivering the 2010 Commencement Speech for The University of Michigan. I'm pretty excited about this. Even though my main man Rocky is sort of shaping up to be a disappointment, president wise, I'd still like to see this speech and hear what he has to say to our little U of M graduates. So, if you're a 2010 U of M graduate, or a member of your family is and you can score me some tickets, let me know. I'm willing to hand over my left arm for this.

Seriously.
That's all kiddies.

Faith

Here's the link to the 31 online catalog.

https://www.mythirtyone.com/forms/frm_pre_shop.aspx

The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation

In the last hour and a half, my life became complete.

I recorded The Ellen Degeneres show and decided to watch yesterday and today's episodes to kill some time. Not only did I see Bradly Cooper in tight pants and hear him announce they are working on a Hangerover 2, but I got to see Channing Tatum give Ellen a lap dance. It might have been the best moment ever in my life. He admitted he was once a stripper and then showed her how it was done. I've never wanted to be Ellen so badly. Two of the most handsome men in Hollywood in two days, that lucky little bitch.

Anyway, I have something more important to talk about today! Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a charity for children called The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation. I've been a huge supporter of this for a while now and donate whenever I can. So recently, The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation with the help of Benji Madden has teamed up with 7-Eleven Cup with a Cause. Cup with a Cause is a coffee campaign that donates to a different celebrity's charity each month and they have donated $250,000 to The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation. It get's better though, not only is 7-Eleven doing a wonderful thing for their foundation, but YOU can help too. All you have to do is go to 7-Eleven any time during the month of February, and by the special charity cup. You can fill it with any hot beverage of your choice, or you can just buy the cup if you're not a huge coffee or hot chocolate fan (I'm actually just making that last part up, but I can't see them not letting you just buy a cup.)

It's as simple as that, just by drinking coffee on your way to work, you can help provide shelter for homeless families and support a great cause. There is absolutely no reason to not do this if you are close by a 7-Eleven. People need our help, any little thing that we can do to make other people more comfortable is worth it.

...and YES, I'm talking to you my horrible little Haiti Haters! You've been complaining that no one is trying to help out Americans and everything is focused on Haiti right now (and I still stand by my statement that you're all full of shit and Haiti needs us desperately.) So here you go.

I don't even want you to sit, stay and read anymore. I want you to go, drive, and find a 7-Eleven! NOW! Well? What are you waiting for? Stop reading this...scram!

The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation needs you!!

Bye, bye now!

Faith

P.S If you don't live near a 7-Eleven you can donate to The Richie-Madden Children's Foundation by going to the website below. You better do it. I'll know if you don't.

(My links are down for some reason, so you have to do it the old fashion way. Copy and paste, baby.)

http://www.myspace.com/richiemadden

I'm Old.

I've officially become an old person.

This is kind of devastating. I know I've always said that I am far older than my years but today I realized it when I was looking at a flower book going over what might look nice to plant in the yard this spring. Then I thought about how I was getting excited about bathroom decorations and new living room furniture. I mean WHO does that at twenty years old?

I have got to go out and hang with some 19 year old or a something, this is simply not acceptable. I used to be fun and crazy, now I'm plain and boring. Someone bring a little Wild'n'Out in my life!!!!!!

On a completely unrelated note, it has been snowing steadily for about 12 hours and it doesn't plan on stopping until very early Thursday morning. We are getting HAMMERED (HAMMER TIME!) For some odd reason Lincoln isn't closed yet, but the roads are really bad so I suppose it's only a matter of time. I'll be pretty ticked if the girls do have school, I have big plans to make them help me clean the basement, move around furniture, and shovel our way out of the house. I'd hate to have to do all those old lady things by myself. Hah!

It's funny. I had a big, long blog rant planned for today about people being nosy and butting in where they don't belong. I decided to get a few things done around the house before I blogged and I'm glad I waited. I would have just cussed a whole lot and said a lot of stupid things that I'd be mad at myself for later. It made me realize that waiting it out, and thinking before speaking is probably my best quality. Don't get me wrong, on occasions I have mouth (or finger) diarrhea but for the most part I think I do well with not saying stupid shit. It could quite possibly be my only redeeming quality. How lucky for the people who piss me off, how unlucky for everyone else.

Maybe tomorrow I will take a double dose of finger laxatives and rip some asshat apart. Just maybe.

Until then...
Faith

Faith Susanne and the Horrible, Terrible...

YESSSSS!

My horrible, terrible, no good, very bad paint job has been fixed! If we learned anything from this, it's that I definitely will not be a painter any time in the near or distant future. It looked so bad, that even the professionals had a difficult time fixing it. But alas, it looks a trillion times better and I can probably start using that bathroom now that it doesn't look like Barney exploded in there.

So, while the painters were busy with the bathroom (and the freshly painted stairway) I folded clothes and watched Law & Order for about seven hours. It was a very exciting day filled with Neil Patrick Harris playing a character that was definitely meant to be a straight Jeffery Dahmer, a mother blowing up her kids, and a scam artist psychic. I think you should probably be jealous, but I could be being bias. On a side note, did anyone else ever notice that Detective Goren is ALWAYS sweaty and intense? He constantly looks like he's jerking it and trying to take a dump at the same time. I know, I'm a classy girl. It's true.

Well, yeah. The rest of the day doesn't have much to look forward to. I see more laundry and left over chili and macaroni for dinner. I might try and give my friend Erin a call via Skype so I can look at her beautiful new baby Katarina again. I got to see her live and in action for the first time on Friday before I went to the movies. She's the cutest thing since Macie was a puppy. I love her so much and can't wait until the day I get to hold her in my arms. California is way to far away.

Anyway, I apologize for the lacking post lately. I've been feeling pretty crappy the last few weeks and haven't been able to bring myself to get passionate about anything. We all have our down time and I'm just having a tiny issue getting out of it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I have to go now, I am in desperate need of chapstick - my lips hurt REAL bad!

Faith

P.S - Yes, the Colts are the most disappointing beings I've ever encountered. Also, if you know what my post title is referencing, you get a prize.

Go Colts!

It's Super Bowl Sunday, and I've made it to my one month part.

This is probably the most committed I've ever been in my entire life. I'm so proud of myself! I wish I was more enthusiastic about writing today. I had to attend a funeral showing for my Grammy's neighbor today. We've all know him for years so it was pretty hard on Grammy, plus it's her birthday. Also PMS is kicking my ass, so I've popped lots of Motrin and am now trying the one beer numbing treatment. It's kind of working so I think I'll be able to manage, not sure if managing means taking a nap by half time or not though.

We have a few people over and made way more food than is necessary. I can guarantee we'll be eating left overs for days and days. The funny thing is I don't think anyone who is here really cares a whole lot about football. We're all just interested in eating and commercials. I'm rooting for the Colts, just so I have someone to root for. I basically flipped a coin to decide who I wanted to win. I honestly don't even care.

Last night Katelynn and Hilary came over and they took me on a date to see Dear John. The entire time Hilary was mutter things like "This is bullshit, assholes!" Apparently they changed around the book so much and Hilary was pretty ticked off about it. I do know how the book ends and even though it's not the traditional happy ending I would have probably liked the movie a lot more if they had stuck to the book. Oh well though, movie producers can't keep everyone happy.

On that note, the game is going to a commercial so I had better hop off here and go watch them, and probably eat some more food. Wish me a Happy One Month Anniversary!

I'll see you later then...

Faith

P.S Kudos if you know where my closing line is from.

Happy Birthday Miss McP!

WOOOOOOOOO!

Last night was Miss McP's 34th birthday and I drank myself sober. I do not know how this happened but I drank 10 or 11 beers and probably could have safely driven myself home (though I didn't, no worries.)

Like I mentioned yesterday we started the night off with a Pure Romance party and once that was over we just hung out, ate lots of food and drank lots of beer (unless your name was Mandy then you drank 56 bottles of Merlot.) Of course it was up to Holly to make it a dance party, so the dirty dancing happened once Poker Face was played 84 times in a row. All in all I think it was pretty successful as far as 34th birthdays go. No worries, I have photos for you.







Today I haven't gotten too much accomplished. There is lots of laundry being done (and not the good kind) and I'm about to go to Borders with my Aunt Kathy. Tonight Katelynn and Hilary are coming up and we're going to go see Dear John. I tried to convince them to drink some wine with me but apparently there are people in the world who don't like wine. So, they put a damper on my Journey to Alcoholism, at least for tonight anyway.

But yeah, Aunt K is about to be here so I better wrap this up. Don't worry, I didn't forget about this:



Have a happy Saturday Darlings!

Faith

ALMOST!!

Oh my God!

I almost just failed at life! I've had a really long day of shopping, money copying and eye brow waxing! I was just about to leave for a friends birthday party when I realized I didn't blog yet!!!

So I'm kind of in a hurry! Angie just made a penis shaped cake and when Autumn asked about it we had to say it was an arrow cake hahah! The party should be pretty fun, we're doing the pure romance thing and then we're all going to drink and have a good time once it's over.

Anyway, tomorrow I will post pictures, penis cake included. Since I've pregamed it already I probably shouldn't even be writing. Drunk girls writing is a terrible thing.

I'll see ya'll tomorrow with pictures of dildos, pocket rockets and penis cakes. Hurray!!

Happy Friday dearies!! Sorry for my almost fail.

Faith

Pulling Teeth!

Blegggggggg!

Today was such a long day!! I had to deliver fliers to 260 townhomes. I did this a lot over the summer and it's usually not so bad because it's warm outside. Today however, it was 28 degrees F, I finished two hours ago and my hands are still frozen. Seriously, winter needs to be over with, I am 100% ready for it to be sunny and warm.

Other than random ghetto people hitting on me, and someone making fun of the Blink-182 blaring from my headphones, not a whole lot happened today until I got home.

As soon as I walked in my niece started yelling "The Tooth Fairy didn't come!!!!!!" This was very disturbing for her. She has been ripping her teeth out for days in a row just to collect the cash. I've been told this is completely normal, but I definitely do not remember pulling my teeth out like that. She has lost seven teeth in the last six months. I personally think she is just a little brute and loves to yank her teeth out, gahahaha. After that we had to tell her that our Grandma's next door neighbor died. He was an older gentlemen and Autumn always played at his house with his grand kids. I feel really upset about it, but it was just his time to go. She handled it much better than I thought she would, so that's a good thing.

All I have left on my agenda for today is PJs, Buffalo Wild Wings, and a movie in bed. I'm pretty excited about it.

I will see YOU tomorrow.

Faith

Rude!

Oh my Lord,

I am SO happy today is almost over. It has seriously been such a long day, I'm completely ready to crash but of course I have things I have to talk about first. Issue number one is RUDE PEOPLE!

Today I had to show an apartment to these girls who came into the complex. So I take them down there and start showing them all the amazing closet space and the patio and such and the entire time they are either rolling their eyes at me or snickering at whatever I was say. It was seriously pissing me off. I mean, these are really nice townhomes. It's not like I was showing them some piece of crap trying to swindle a deal. Obviously they loved it since they filled out an application to try and get approved. The kicker is that they were all younger than me, dressed like dirty scrubs, and one of them had a baby that she left in the car while she was looking at the apartment and filling out her app. I am being so literal when I say baby. He was probably only 10 months old. HOW are you going to be a rude little bitch AND leave your poor baby in your beat up van in downtown Ypsilanti? I fucking hate people sometimes, I swear.

So along with hating assholes, I've also decided that I hate refrigerators that don't work. We've had all the contents of our fridge sitting on the back porch for a few days now. Which was just fantastic when it down poured a butt load of nasty snow last night. Whatever. I'm in a terrible mood, I should probably just go to sleep and stop bitching about people every single day.

That's all I've got, hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Faith

I Just Wanna Live

Here we are, day 27. I've already explored my Great Perhaps, or part of it anyway. Luckily I didn't have my Alexander Graham Bell moment yet, at least I don't think that I have. Wouldn't it be horrible if I just woke up one day and realized my Alexander Graham Bell moment was something really stupid and anti-climatic? Would if that was just it for my life?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I really need to start going to the doctors and taking care of myself. I was laying in bed the other night thinking about how in a blog I read, someone wrote that Jimmy Sullivan aka The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold always said he wouldn't live past 30, and how it ended up being true because The Rev died December 28th. Now I've never been one to say such things because I don't want to be morbid or anything. But when I thought about Jimmy always saying that it made me realize that I have never once in my life imagined myself past about 26. Put this on top of the fact that my sister recently had a dream that she saw mine and our other sister Holly's ghost. In the dream I looked like I did now, and Holly looked old. I obviously know this was just a dream but all of those things mixed together gave me a serious freak out moment. I can not imagine just not existing, not being alive. It makes me wish that I had complete faith, so death wasn't something that terrified me. I don't want to be scared of dying, but I am. I'm definitely not one of those strong people who always say the thought of dying doesn't scare them. It is TERRIFYING.

So, because I'm a hypochondriac who never goes to the doctor I've decided I need to change my ways. I don't want to be scared all the time anymore. I want to know that I will live past 26, I want to imagine my kids and my family farther in the future than six years. I'll probably always be a hypochondriac but I will be a hypochondriac who annoys the shit out of my doctor.

I'm not Marilyn Monroe, and I'm not Jimmy Sullivan. I refuse to live fast and die young. I am going to have an abundance of years to find my Alexander Graham Bell moment, and it's going to be amazing. Just wait...

Faith

Disappointments

Hello!

Today my niece Hannah and I were talking about science when I realized that I couldn't remember who my 11th grade science teacher was. It started driving me completely INSANE so I went downstairs and found my 10th grade yearbook so I could scan the facility section. When I found him (Mr. Nichols for the curious) I started flipping through the signatures. In the very back, right in the center all by it self I saw my dads slanted, lefty handwriting. It said:

"Faith, Life is a series of disappointments, but press on regardless! Love you forever, Dad-Man 6-8-2005"

Of course I immediately started crying, but once the tears stopped I realized that I have never had such good advice given to me. Even though he wrote that message nearly five years ago, I can't help but feel it was a message from beyond the grave. My 16 year old self let my dad sign my yearbook. That just simply doesn't happen. It makes me wonder if he knew this might be the greatest advice he would ever give me.

Just when I was on the brink of tossing in the towel and not trying anymore, he tells me to push on regardless of what has happened. I don't necessarily think that he knew I would need that advice some day or that I would ever actually come to a point where I'm just tired of being disappointed and sad. I think he was just trying to be inspirational. I do actually remember him saying "Life is a series of disappointments" a few times but I had never heard him add on the last part.

My dad was just trying to be part of me, he wanted to sign my high school yearbook with something for people to look at later and think, "That Ollie, he was such a wise man." What he didn't know is that I thought that every day. He didn't have to try and be inspirational, wise, or witty around me because I just simply thought he was.

Those words are in the past, as is my dad. It's now my goal to make sure they both live on. I will keep pushing through the disappointments, and I will let my dad live through me. As long as I am here, he is here.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

Faith