A Long October

I'm uh, feeling a lot today.

It sort of feels like my entire being is being engulfed by death.
Yesterday I wrote about Ali's death. After that I learned of the death of Burning Dan. I don't know a lot about the circumstances so I won't comment, but I thought that was absolutely devastating, after all - he was going to be my future brother in law ;). Then just before bed I learned that two old friends and school mates were in a horrific car accident. Bren died "instantly" and Travis is still in critical condition. It's all really mind boggling to me, trying to understand why this is all happening - if there is even a reason for it. I am honestly at the point where I realize someone has died, mourn about it for a small while and brush it away. If I sat around grieving everyone that I've loved who passed on I would never be able to go on with my life. People die around me ALL the time. It's just the circle of my life. I know people die every day, but this is just a little ridiculous.

But then I have to circle back around to "died instantly." What does that even mean? Instantly? How do they know it was just an instant? Who is to say what an instant is anyway? How can someone just be gone in that small period of time? How do we know they didn't feel anything, and is that really fair that they didn't even get to see their life flash before their eyes? To think about their childhood, their parents, their friends that one last time? That's life though, isn't it? It's never fair - we were all made equally but we have to work to stay that way. We don't have to work to die, but we do have to work to stay alive. It's not a game. It's life and it's death.

But after all, to the well organized mind - death is but the next great adventure.

It's time to get organized.