Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I told myself I wasn't going to complain today. I'm not a huge complainer and I hate hearing other people do it so I try not to do it myself. But I am SO sick of everything. I can't even remember the last time I had such an irritating day. It seems like everything that could have possible happened or went wrong, did. The worst of it wasn't even my car battery getting fried. I clearly do not have the extra $100 to fix it. I'm just over it.

Jayden is spending the night though so I don't even have time to write anything decent up, since he's been here all day too. So this is about all you're gonna get. Try not to be too disappointed.

On the bright side tomorrow is April Fool's Day. Woo... I'm not even excited about it anymore. Fuck it.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Here's to you Mr. Robertson.

Today started off okay. Autumn has an ear infection so we stayed home together, watched a few movies and did some light cleaning around the house. By that time the Art Van guys were here to take away the couch they ripped last time and bring us a new one. That was quite a treat seeing as they were both ridiculously good looking and were both dishing out the compliments. Needless to say I was eating that up.

After they left I checked some tweets, only to find out that the Tiger's traded Nate Robertson to the Florida Marlins for Jay Voss. Seriously, I shed a tear or two I was so pissed off about it. HOW are they going to take my Tiger away from me? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

After I found this out I decided I needed to go outside. So I opened the garage and stared into it for 15 minutes before I decided to pull out all of the patio furniture and the hammock. I spend the next three hours of my life assembling furniture, picking up dog shit, sweeping the deck, and so on. That kept my mind off my little Nate Robertson tragedy pretty well, and honestly it hasn't bugged me too much since. Once the furniture business was over I went to the store and came home to something that really is irritating me. It's been a long time since I was that girl who let people's opinions and actions bother me, but here I am. That girl tonight, speechless and bottled once again.

I wish I could say what I really wanted to say but that'll have to wait a couple days. The whole situation is completely ridiculous. I don't even understand the male species anymore. I'm basically just a pawn in all of their little games, shocking. Even the nice ones are starting to be weirdos, even more shocking. Why didn't God make me a lesbian?

Hah, on a side note, wouldn't it be hilarious if I went to confession and when Father Tom asked me what I wanted to confess I said "Well father, I'm angry with God." and he would say "Why are you angry with God, my child?" and I would say "He didn't make me a lesbian and nice men don't exist anymore. I'm destine to be alone forever because of his mistake." Hahahaha. I can't even imagine what he would say, but considering the looks he gives me when I'm there on Monday evenings, I can guess it wouldn't be comforting or even nice. I wonder if he senses all the doubts going through my wheels in motion mind? Probably. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm going to try and be in a happy mood and not let douche bags get to me. I'll just sit around and focus on my made up men that whisper sweet nothings in my ear that are actually ridiculous jokes and stupid comments. That's the best kind of romance...

Yes, I do need a therapist. Shut your face.

See you tomorrow!

P.S -

I really will miss Nate. I love that man, and he will no longer be living 10 minutes away from me. It makes so, so bummed out.

And so it is, he's no longer a Tiger.
Goodbye Nate.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Second Guess

It's not even 2pm yet and today has been weird as hell.

I was woken up in the strangest way you could imagine. I'm not going to put it out there because it might be a little personal for everyone to know about. Let me tell you though, it was a little scary and a lot bizarre. I'm kind of second guessing a lot of the decisions we've made as a family in the last six months and I think my sister might be too. I was pretty confident for the longest time that we did everything right, even if all the decisions were not by the books. Now I have all these worries and doubts that I fucked it all up. I just want someone, need someone to tell me that we were right so I can stop feeling guilty.

The more I think about it though, the more I think that I'm probably a bottler. I think I'm one of those people who just bottles things up and doesn't think about them until the bottle just explodes and I have to. Waking up this morning with my sister standing over my bed with panicked, confused eyes made my bottle explode. I've done nothing but think about the things she said and wonder. I've NEVER second guessed myself before this and I hate it because I can NOT stop thinking about it. The wheels in my head have not stopped moving for even a second in six hours. I need to talk to someone about it, but I know it makes most people feel uncomfortable. Even in my family Angie would cry, Ollie and Tony would be def mutes, and I think Holly is just scared. Joe would listen, if he would talk to me. I know he would get it, and he would have something obnoxiously right to say about it too.

That's another thing that's been bugging me, the fact that Joe lives four hours away, never calls me, and every time he's in town he'll visit everyone but me. I don't get it, and I don't know what I did. I know that a part of him thinks I hate him. We're more different than two people could be. We've been in more fights, and cussed each other out more than any two people I know. He just doesn't get that I always worry about him, and because of my worry and distrust in him we simply can't get along or really even see eye to eye. I hate it. But even after all the fights and stuff he never avoided me like this, and I still felt a closeness to him. The last time I saw him was probably November. He was in town staying at Angie's and I had to go bang her door down to get him to see him. I just don't get him. I love him so much, and it kills me to think that six months ago any fragment of a bond we had was broken. It makes me so sad and disappointed. I think someone else would be disappointed too.

It just bugs me, it's all bugging me and making me feel helpless.

Call me crazy but I AM going to figure this out, and I think I only have 20 days. April 19th, exactly seven months since the beginning of the end.


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Best Day

Today has been the best day in a long time.

I woke up, had breakfast with Angie Kennedy, talked to my brother Ollie on the phone for a while discussing our birthday plans and then I laid on the couch for basically the rest of the day. I found some movie on On Demand that involved Justin Timberlake, baseball and road trips, so naturally I was in love for two hours of my life. Right now Year One is on killing my brain cells and I'm debating going to Monroe. Who knows if that'll happen though. It's just been a really relaxing day.

Anyway, last night was, odd. I started off the night super crabby but was basically over it by the time we got to Doc's. Doe was working so we went and visited him for a little bit, I zoned out, they drank. After we went to US-12 and Stockdale's, I zoned out some more and they drank some more. It was kind of just a really weird, creepy night. The entire time some weirdo Middle Eastern guy with greasy, curly hair and a hunched back kept staring at our table until our friend Brian told him to stop. Actually, I'm pretty sure he kept staring even after that. He seemed really nice actually, besides the fact that he was clearly not socially adapted.

I don't know, it was a retarded evening and I was pretty glad when it was over. I didn't get much sleep though so between movie watching I took a two hour nap today. It was aweeesome.

I'm sure I still have a bit of debt to pay off somewhere or another but hopefully it doesn't involve designated driving any time soon.

So yeah, just to get it out there my brother Ollie and I are having out annual birthday party at his house next Saturday. Feel free to come and have a good time. I think he's ordering some UFC fight or something. Maybe not UFC, maybe it's boxing, I'm really not sure. Just get a hold of me if you're interested in coming.

I'll see YOU, tomorrow.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Designated Faith - Take Two


So there was a mishap on Tuesday and Wednesday and it involved Art Van furniture delivery boys, $100, and me leaving the said $100 on the counter and them probably taking it. So since I'm a careless asshole, tonight I'm being forced to play Designated Driver. Now, I remember one of my first post on the blog was a Designated Driver post and it was pretty hilarious. However, I've played it a few times since then and it was much less fun and not even close to as funny. It was actually rather annoying. So as you can imagine I'm not exactly excited about it. As of right now I'm on the hunt to find someone to come with me and stay sober, or I'm trying to figure out a way to weasel out of it, though I don't really see that happening. I screwed up, so now I probably have to pay the price for the rest of the year, because let's face it, I'm never going to be able to live that one down. Guh!

As of right now, I see a nap in my future before I race around trying to decide what to wear. Man, I hate going out. I wish I could stay 20 forever and lose Tabitha that way I'd never be forced to be DD again. Ha, I'm just kidding. I like to keep my sissy and friends safe, on occasions. :P

So yeah, hopefully someone will man up and come with me on this drunken adventure and we'll have a good time. That way tomorrow I'll have something super exciting to talk about. Enjoy your Saturday people!


Friday, March 26, 2010

Family Night 2.0


I just spent way too much time reading a short story written by James Franco. I mean, it's a SHORT STORY. I shouldn't have wasted an hour of my precious time on that hot hunk of a man. But, I did and now I'm behind schedule. I have a TON of shit to get done and only have about 3 hours and 15 minutes to do it.

I know I should probably be pushing the blog off until later, but my sister's and their beaus are forcing family night on me again tonight and it's hard telling what time it'll all be over and done with. I can't wait to sit around and watch them kiss each other and snuggle with their children. It's going to be wonderful.

No, I'm actually just kidding. I love when we all get together, I just get bummed out because my stupid brothers never come and because I am a lonely, pathetic excuse for a human being. I really am stoked to see Jayden and Layna. Jayden always says the best things. Now that I can't have my "Dad Conversation" blogs anymore, I really should start up a "Jayden Conversation" list. He's the coolest three year old ever. I miss spending time with him. The two of us used to be inseparable. Literally. He's definitely my number one man. Though, if anyone would like to come over tonight we could pull off a "Wedding Date" type of scheme and I could pay you to be my date. Ha! Totally just kidding. I'd rather be alone than obviously desperate.

Anyway, I'm going to go so I can get my crap done and start a little bit of work I have to do for yesterday's Grand Master Plan.

See ya'll tomorrow. Wish me luck on my night filled with other people's love!


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Faith on the Edge


Today I came up with a grand master plan. Unfortunately I can't tell you about it because that would blow my cover. I'm kind of stoked though and can't stop laughing about it. So hopefully it goes through and we can all laugh at it together in the future.

Other than my grand scheme today was pretty uneventful. I was watching something that was recorded and when it went off The 700 Club was on. I've never seen that program before and actually didn't have a clue that it was a Christian thing. There was a guy on there named Paul Richardson that wrote a book called "Faith on the Edge." From what I understand the book was mainly about this miracle that happened to him and his family. Basically his infant son had started to crawl and they were getting ready to go on some missionary trip. In the excitement of things the baby somehow slipped out of their sight and they started searching for him frantically. When they finally found little dude he was at the bottom on the pool in the fetal position. Paul jumped in and when he pulled his son out his brother started administering CPR. After about seven minutes of CPR with no response the ambulance brought him into the hospital. I guess they did test and stuff and even though they somehow resuscitated him, he had been with out oxygen for so long that there were no signs of brain activity. Basically little man was a vegetable. So the family brought in their church friends and they all circled around him and said a prayer. At that point Paul said he started feeling burst of energy and a faint glow, one of the friends said they felt the baby's toe move. After a few more hours of no sign of brain activity or any more movement, the baby suddenly opened his eyes and started looking around. The next day the flabbergasted doctors sent the child home with a clean bill of health. It was Paul's miracle.

Now, I usually tend to not believe in stories like this but this guy seemed so genuine and his story seemed so real. He cried at all the right parts, smiled when he should have and just had it ALL right. I kind of had to believe his story. I'm very interested in reading his book, so I'll be doing that as soon as I can. Feel free to buy it for me for my birthday. It seems like an interesting read.

But yeah, that was my interest of the day absolutely nothing else good happened. Now I have big plans to help Autumn with her science fair project, catch up on some reading and hit the hay.

Good Day ya'll.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Still No Sloppy.


I'm getting this out of the way early for two reasons. The first being that the internet has been off all day and I'm not risking the chance of it going out again and failing epically. The second is because from here on out my day is going to busy, busy. I have a lot of crap to get done, and very little time left to do it.

I do want to let you all know that I am DEEPLY disappointed in you. I asked very nicely, then I begged, and pleaded and you STILL did not get Sloppy on Twitter. You're suppose to be putting your brains together and figuring out a way to make it happen people. COME ON. There has to be something we can do to make this happen. Someone bet him in a game of ping pong, but that seems to be the closest we've come to actually making it happen. I say we start stealing his belongings, using violence, or threatening him. One of those things will make him man up and join Twitter, I'm sure of it.

I know I keep copping out but posting short blogs but I just got a call that a technician is on his way here to fix the water thing on the fridge so I should probably be alert for that. Try not to be too disappointed in me, and remember GET SLOPPY ON TWITTER.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tiny Politics


The new furniture is here! The bad part is that when the douches were bringing it in they snagged it on the back fence and ripped one whole section of the sectional. We have the ripped one for now but they're going to bring a new one on Sunday, so I guess whatever. Again, we wait.

What I know that you've all been waiting for me to start yapping about is the Health Care Reform, right? Republican dick bags be ware because I am stoked about this. One of the maintenance men at the office was bitching about it, and I don't even know why. He's hardly even going to be affected by it. I think he's actually one of those people that I hate, who bitch just to hear themselves talk. It's sort of like he's always on his period. Anyway, yeah - health care, I'm on board with this big time. There are a few tiny problems, but they'll pass. The thing about this though is that it's just like food stamps, WIC, and Section 8. There are ALWAYS going to be people bitching because they can't seem to get it through their heads that helping out the world is a GOOD thing. Who REALLY cares if the taxes are a bit higher? Get over it you yuppie fucks.

God, I hate yuppies.

Anyway, since I can't seem to form coherent sentences lately because of all the crazy and douchebaggery in my life, I'm going to leave my politics talk to a minimum.

Now, I'm going to soak my dirty ass feet for hours, stop cussing, and hopefully sleep soon. I hope everyone enjoyed the beautiful day that we had!


Monday, March 22, 2010



It's been one of those days. I think I complain about it being "one of those days" every single day, don't I? Nothing good happened, at all. I sat around the office for a while chatting about healthcare and listening to pathological lying residents, then I did some K Marting, then some Krogering, then some more office time and pathological liars. Now I am home, trying to figure out what the fuck to do with this furniture. The new stuff is coming tomorrow at like noon and we still have no one to take it.

At first Holly and I tried to maneuver it down to the basement, I'm not even sure why because we've tried to move so much stuff down there before and it almost never works. There definitely is a wall busting out parting in the future. The basement stairs are RETARDED.

Now I'm listening to PSYCHO seven year old run around the living room chasing the dog screaming about being dizzy and it's getting on my last damn nerve.

So I will see you bitches tomorrow.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Happy Birthday Baby D!

Oh Happy Day!

I just got home from Monroe and attending my God son's 1st birthday party. I had a blast, and I'm really happy I got to spend so much time with him and Danielle, even if it did consist of non stop running around since 8am. I am EXHAUSTED.

Great news though, I came home to find a new fridge in the kitchen! Holly got a great deal on it and I'm super excited to have crushed ice. Hah. The bad news is I'll have to grocery shop for basically everything now. Oh well, it's worth it and she's got the new furniture coming on Tuesday. It's gonna be a good week.

But, because I'm so tired, and am barly holding on here I'm going to make today mainly a picture blog of my favorite pictures from David's party. They're great! I love that little man.

His face is priceless on the last one, but just for good measures here's another priceless face. Isn't she cute?


Saturday, March 20, 2010



I didn't sleep much at all last night because I was home alone and a little freaked out for some reason so today I'm exhausted. I just want to sleep but there is definitely not any time for that.

I have a hair appointment in an hour and I still don't know what I want to get done. After that I will eventually be meeting up with Danielle to spend the night at her house and hang out. Like I said before Baby David's birthday is tomorrow so I want to be around to help with as much as I can.

What I really want to know is what goes on with this weather?! It was SO freaking nice out yesterday and today when I just went and took these kids down to the park it was FREEZING. We're all going to end up getting sick, which would completely suck.

Hopefully all will be well, I'll come back atcha tomorrow night! Happy Saturday ya'll.


Friday, March 19, 2010


I'm so happy today is over for me.

I spent the day in Ann Arbor, AGAIN. I had a few things to do at Briarwood, Art Van and ABC, the worst part about this is I had to take two thirteen year olds and a seven year old with me. Between losing the teenagers and not being able to find the right outfit for the seven year old, I was ready to pull my hair out. We literally spent like five hours there before we ever even thought about Art Van and ABC. The good news is, the new furniture is ALL for sure coming Saturday. The bad news is, ABC is filled with asshat sales people so we have no fridge deal, still. Yeah, our fridge definitely doesn't work so hopefully something happens here soon.

As for tonight, I think I might be too tired to do anything, not to mention that I left a light on in my car so the battery is dead or something. I don't even know what goes on with that. So if anyone wanted to hang out with me, they'd have to come to me and that's not really much fun for any of my friends. Home bound for Friday it is, again.

Tomorrow I'm probably going to be posing early. I have a hair appointment at 2 and then I'll be headed to Monroe to stay at Danielle's since Baby D's birthday party is Sunday. Which means Sunday I'll probably be posing late.

Get prepared for a crazy weekend folks.

I'll see ya in the morning.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Drunk Blogging

I have to jock Mr. Roger's right now because it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Autumn somehow convinced me to get in the hot tub with her, which was a horrible idea. It was warm enough to kind of want to get in, but it was still cold enough to where we were freezing when we got out.

Since then there has been teenagers running around, Hannah Montana watch and wine drinking. Only for me of course. The day is just so nice and relaxing that a glass of wine sounded terrific. Wine Thursday doesn't sound as good as Wine Wednesday, but we'll make due with that we have.

In between drinks of wine and Hannah Montana episodes I've been cleaning out the refrigerator. It took a shit on us for the second time and so we're getting a new one tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about it, but we STILL do not have the new furniture! Holly and I went to Art Van yesterday to finally set up a date to have it delivered, so for sure we're getting at least the couch next Tuesday. Hurray!

In other news, I have a pimple on my lip that makes me look like I have the herps. It's pretty sucky. Hopefully it goes away before I have to see people this weekend. We'll see...

Anyway, I'm getting a little drunk and should probably not be drunk blogging, that's no good. So I'm gonna split.

See ya tomorrow..

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Luck of Americans


It's St. Patrick's Day! It's kind of a stressful day so far, which is just my luck. I ended up waking up early because Hannah missed the bus, AGAIN. So I had to take her to school, then hurry back to get Autumn on the bus, and then go into the office. I puttered around there for a while, and then went trolling Ann Arbor looking for some things (that I ended up finding 2 seconds from my house.) Once I was done with that I headed home to let Macie outside, only to find out I was waaay too late. She had gotten sick all over the bathroom floors, rugs, and her bedding. So that took me about an hour to clean up, which sucked. I feel like the smell is burnt into my nose.

Now I'm just waiting for Autumn to get off the bus, then I'm going to take her to dance, pick up Holly from work, and we're heading to Briarwood (again) then we have some business to attend to at Art Van and ABC. I just realized that if anyone is stalking me, I'm making their lives hella easy. I should probably stop living my day to day life in the blog. I just haven't had much of anything to talk about lately.

I will say that I've been getting kind of worried. There have been talks of a trip, and usually when we do trips we drive because it's more fun that way. I can't even begin to imagine how stressful it's going to be to try and write a blog everyday while I'm on vacation. The blog for April 9th is stressing me out too, it's Tiger's Opening day and I'm probably going to have to wake up at like 6am to get it done. We always leave super early and this year will be no different. By the time I get home, I definitely will not be in any condition to be typing. Ah, birthday celebrations.

Anyway, I'll figure it out. There isn't any reason to start stressing yet. For now I need to get Autumn off the bus and get on with my day, so it can be over and I can hunt down green beer.

Happy St. Patrick's Day my little leprechauns.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Back History

Good morning World!

I have good news! The sun is out today, it's not quite warm yet, but there is sunshine and that's good enough for me! The sun really does put me in a great mood. I feel like dancing and smiling and running around outside. All of which I will eventually do today, I just have more important things to take care of first!

I've had two things totally stressing me out the last few days. Firstly, no one can figure out how to get my taxes sent in which leaves me broke, completely. Being broke is stressing me out because, like I mentioned yesterday, my birthday is soon and I have to get my license updated, add that on top of the fact that Sunday is Godson #2's first birthday. So not only do I not have money to give to the Secretary of State, I don't have money to give to my Godson. I'm a horrible godparent. I can't wait until the day comes that I'm not the equivalent of a starving artist minus the artistic ability. I like doing things for people too much to be broke, not to mention it's nice when bills get paid. Ya dig?

Anyway, I'm being tempted to break the law today. It's nothing serious so let me explain. There was a family who lived in my house called The Parshall Family. They were the second to last family to live here before we did. It consisted of three daughters, a mother,Cheryl and a father, Kirby. On June 2nd of 1998 Cheryl passed away in the house because of a heart problem. It was pretty sudden and I can only imagine the pain that Kirby and the girls went through. I believe it was shortly after her death that they moved away and The Holland family bought the house.

I know all of this because over the summer Holly was having issues sleeping, and so we just decided to look into the history of the house. The only back ground we got into though was the Parshall family's. I don't know why we never bothered to check up on the Holland family, but after my dad's death here it makes me wonder if they also had someone they love pass away in the house. Don't get me wrong, I love this house. I love the location and every tiny thing about it. I've never been happier anywhere else in my entire life. I'm not saying that I feel like the house is haunted or anything, I'm just wondering if there was such a coincidence between every family who's lived here. Anyway, back to my point. Cheryl is dead and we've lived here for 18 months and if we didn't look at the deed and check into it, we wouldn't have known anything about her or her family. Unlike with the Holland family, who's mail we get basically every single day, we never get mail for The Parshalls. That is, until yesterday. There was a letter addressed to her and it says "DO NOT BEND" on it. It's very official looking, and I'm dying to know what it is. It's eating away at me.

Of course I know that I'll end up writing "Deceased" on it and send it back in the mailbox, but I just can't help but wonder why after all these months, only now are we getting letters for Cheryl. I don't know, maybe I'm being illogical to want to open it so much. I'm just so curious, but I guess curiosity did kill the cat..

What do you all thing? Have I lost it? I just like knowing things about her, I know that she was a nurse, and that she played the cello. I know that she loved the kitchen and the basement in this house and that she really loved her girls. Is it so wrong that I want to know more? I think to ease my curiosity I'm going to look into the Holland family and check out their dirty little secrets....

We'll see how that goes.

Until tomorrow,

Monday, March 15, 2010


Well, well, well...

I'd like to start off with apologizing for yesterday's meltdown. I was a little out of it and probably should have refrained from blogging. Oh well, it needed to be done, crazy or not.

As for today, I don't have a whole lot going on. I'm craving a glass of wine intensely but I'm holding off because there's a chance I'll have to drive sometime in the next hour. Is that horrible that I'm CRAVING alcohol? I mean, I don't drink that much, maybe two times a month, tops. I'll deal with today's craving as long as it's not something that happens to much.

Speaking of drinking, my 21st birthday is sneaking up on me! I'm very excited. I'm hoping the weekend before my birthday we can do the ritual party at my brother's houses. They live right next door to each so we've been getting a keg over there the last few years. My brother Ollie's birthday is April 2nd, mine is the 7th, and my sister in law Denise's is on the 13th, so we usually just do them all together. My birthday is on a Wednesday and the Friday after we're going to the Tiger's Opening Day. I'm pretty stoked about it, we have huge drunken plans. I love Opening Day so much, it's the best environment, if you've never been to one before I HIGHLY recommend it. You will not be disappointed... you're about to be with me because I have to go. The time to drive has arrived. How exciting! I can get it out of the way and then drink my wine! Woo hoo!!

See ya!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

March 14th. 1991

I don't want to write today.

Today it's been 19 years since my mom died, and it's the first time in my life I didn't have my dad around to help us deal with it. I've been more depressed about that fact than I have about it being mom's death day.

So basically Holly and I have been keeping ourselves busy. We woke up and had breakfast, then hung out around the house for a while. After we went over to Hannah's grandma's to hang out with the family for a little while and 20 questions Hannah's friend boy. We went to a few places after that but have basically been sitting home ever since. We never did make it out to the cemetery, I'm not exactly sure why but I kind of don't think I'd have been up for it anyway.

I'm trying so hard to get something out here that even slightly resembles a blog, but it's so hard to find anything to say. I honestly don't get it. Nearly every year on this date the words are flowing from my finger tips but this year, I have nothing. I don't really feel any more sad than I usually do. I mean, I didn't know my mom, she died just weeks before I turned two, but I always like to have something nice and grateful to say about her. I know she was an amazing woman and she put up a hell of a fight but that's really all I know, and all I ever will know.

Behind all the feelings of confusion and all of my "I don't knows" I do know one thing, I need my dad today. The fact that he can't be here, and will never be here again is killing me.

At least I have a slight hope that where ever they are, they're finally together again.


P.S I don't have any energy to spell check or grammar check - so if it's horrible looking and sounding - I'm sorry, I guess.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Who the Fuck is Tre Cool?

Wooo! I am going to lay the romance on myself tonight!

I got an offer to be DD for some friends going to US12 tonight but I'm nearly positive I'm going to turn it down. Last night I went to The Diamondback and Lakeview with my sister and we're both pretty positive we got drugged, hah. So I'm thinking staying in with my PJs, slippers and Lifetime movies sounds pretty appealing. I honestly couldn't care less if I'm sitting by myself on Saturday night or not. I'm sort of tired of being out all the time. I need to find some friends who actually like to stay in the house every now and again.

As far as anything exciting goes, the only thing I've got is a small wind of a new Green Day tour. I'm pretty stoked about it actually, after the concert last summer I've been itching to see them again. I've loved them since I was seven, and have been several of their shows, but none of them beat that one. I've never been so excited to break a toe. Maybe I can break an arm or leg this time?! I'm not sure exactly when it's going to be, but I'm now taking applications for people to cause shenanigans with. But if you didn't just get my joke, you don't need to apply.

Anyway, other than that I have nothing going on to talk about. I really do have big plans to put on pajamas, lay on the couch, and probably tweet #getsloppyontwitter 45 more times tonight. If you're bored and are in the #getsloppyontwitter business or the watching tv in your pajamas on Saturday night business, come on over! I'll be here!

See ya peace..

Friday, March 12, 2010

Get Sloppy on Twitter

So far my day as been uneventful.

I didn't have anything to do and there's only so much I can do around the house right now while we're waiting for the new furniture to come tomorrow. Not to mention my phone is not working so I've spent way too much time tweeting song lyrics and trying to get Sloppy McSlopshot on Twitter. I just think it'll be hilarious. This kid hates me more than Hitler hated Jews. Can you imagine the fun I would have sending him sweet @replies telling him how much I love him? LORD! That would be amazing. Funny thing is, I kind of like Sloppy. We both have an undying love for Harry Potter, how could I not love my fellow HP fanatic? Though I'm slowly starting to think I only like him because he hates me, and being hated makes me feel a little excited. I don't even know why he hates me so much, I suppose I probably never will.


So everyone needs to get the word out and rally to get Sloppy to join Twitter. I'm not even going to tell you his real name because A) Everyone will know who Sloppy is and B) I don't even know his real name. How pathetic, maybe that's why he hates me? Nah, it's probably just because I can pwn him at Harry Potter trivia and I once tried to get him to take off his Red Wings jersey and put on a sweater vest. Yeah, who knows.

Anyway, I have to walk away. There is Matchbox Twenty playing continuously from someplace and it's making me want to pull my hair out. NOT OKAY!


Remember! #getsloppyontwitter

Thursday, March 11, 2010


All right,

So I've been pretty convinced for the last several months that today was my Dooms Day. I've been seeing the time 3:11 on the clock nearly every single day. It was weird, and sort of started freaking me out. So last night I was feeling a little anxious about it, but I seem to still be alive so far so I'm guessing everything is going to be good. I'm such a freak.

Anywho, Connie and Michele are having a little party at their house tonight and since I have't been there yet, even though I've been invited numerous times, I'd really like to go. Though I don't see any way I can make it happen, I'm going to try. It's so weird living so far away from everyone I grew up with and became used to sharing my life with. Don't get me wrong, I love it in Ypsi but it gets really lonely. I know I have both my sisters up here, but it would really be nice to hang out with someone my own age. I don't know why I even bother putting these concerns out there because half the time I only feel like this momentarily and then I'm over. I generally love hanging out with my sisters and their friends but lately I've realized I have to start getting back to myself and working on my life or else I'm going to be left in the dust here very shortly. Everything is changing, and for the first time in my life, I'm not sure I'm embracing the change. It's sort of freaking me out. I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

All Right, so between the last paragraph and this one I've spent four hours rearranging furniture preparing for the new couch and stuff that's coming on Saturday. The computer is even in a new spot. I feel refreshed, also I feel exhausted.

Good night..

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Shut Down

SPOILER ALERT: Don't read this if you haven't seen or read "Dear John" and you plan on doing so.

I - am - on - edge.

Sooner or later I am going to have to seek out a shrink. The tiniest little things are making me snap. Earlier I was talking to someone and they mentioned someone else's name in passing and I literally flipped a lid. Then I started walking the dog and she kept pulling away from me and it was making me uncharacteristically pissed off so I took her home, let her off her leash and she ran after another dog. That's when I lost it and made her go to her room and slammed the door. After a while I realized I felt badly about it and let her out. Still though, cuckoo!

I'm going to blame it on the weather. There wasn't sun shining through my window this morning when I woke up like it had been the previous four days. Then it started to rain on and off, and I'm just not okay with it. It kind of made me realize that SAD (Seasonal affective disorder) is most definitely a real thing, and it has most definitely been affecting me. I came to this conclusion last night as I was reading the end of "Dear John." He comes home from leave to find his dad on the couch, soiling himself and unable to move. It got to me because this is exactly how we found our dad. It hurt to read the specific details of my life like that, even though they were not really mine. Once I was finished I laid there for a while thinking about my feelings about my dad's death. I was devastated, of course. He was my dad, the only parent that I'd ever know. Sometimes though, I felt like I didn't react the way I thought I would. I picked myself up, I didn't cry about it more than once a week, and I moved on with my life. Until it got cold. Once the season changed from fall to winter I thought about him more, I slept more. Actually I slept way more than I should have. I didn't want to do anything but sleep. I would wake up to get Autumn on the bus and NEED to go right back to bed. When I was awake I was emotional and crabby. Then, last week when the weather started changing and I would wake up to the sun peeking through my windows, I felt refreshed and happy. Now here we are today and it's fucking cloudy and raining and not very warm, and I am pissed off again.

It's a vicious circle - topped with the fact that in the 10 minutes since I paused my blog writing, I got shut down. I might be over the edge. I'm done today.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010



As you all can probably tell I gave the blog a little make over today. Not only did I switch up the lay out to something I'm very happy with, but now you can see what I'm doing on Twitter and invite people to view my blog via Twitter and Facebook. So get to it, or else!

I don't have much to talk about again, but I think I might have to start contributing that to the fact that I might be becoming senile. On the days that I don't write my blog until later in the evening I usually find myself stuck. I mean, I think of all these things that I want to talk about through out the day, only to forget them when it comes time to write. I seriously need to either A) carry around paper and pens all the time or B) start a private Twitter account that I can just randomly tweet ideas to. The latter would probably be the best bet for me because let's face it, I am too lazy to actually write things down. I don't know, we'll see how it goes, I have to come up with something so I stop rambling on and on about nothing.

On a different note, I just had a 13 year old say to me something along the lines of "Matt would be a good boyfriend. Stuart just wants to have fun." and I said "What do you mean by fun?" and she said "Not like THAT fun, but not a serious boyfriend." SERIOUS BOYFRIEND? You're THIRTEEN! The word "serious" shouldn't even be in your vocabulary right now. I don't get kids these days, they are seriously trying to grow up waaaay too fast, and I hate it. I'm a month shy of 21 and I still and a little freaked out by the thought of a "serious boyfriend." Kids drive in insane, I should never have any. I just don't understand them. Oh, and just so we're clear, no I am NOT related to the 13 year old in question.

Anyway, I guess that's it. I'm in the middle of cooking dinner so I should probably get back to it before I burn the house down.


Monday, March 8, 2010



I'm irritated! Freaking Danny Gokey is going to be at The Diamondback Saloon tonight and I'm trying to win tickets. I am a Danny fan, but I am not exactly a country music enthusiast (I'm not talking to you Corey Smith.) The problem with those two things is that he, for some fucked reason, has started singing country, and the Diamondback is a country bar, AND the only way to get tickets is to listen to a country station and call in when they say. It sucks big time, I just want to listen to Bright Eyes and be angsty today. My irritation is also being fueled by the fact that people tend to still think I am 10 years old. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I need people to look out for me, but usually I don't. I don't understand why people take shit so literal. It's so annoying and it makes me want to cut down trees.

I honestly think country music just pisses me off, I wouldn't be so aggravated if I wasn't listening to DIXIE LAND DELIGHT right now, seriously, fuck my life.

In good news, it's 50 degrees outside today, which makes me pretty excited. I'm hoping that the hose has thawed out so that I can add water to the hot tub, it desperately needs it. What I REALLY want to do today though is drive. Driving is my favorite thing to do when the weather is like this. I can just turn GOOD music up loud, roll down the windows and go. I love being lost in my thoughts and it's been way too long since I've been able to do that. I need my car to be drivable, so I can start doing things with life, random driving included. I love my family, but sometimes it's good to just go. I don't know...

I'll let you know how the Danny Gokey ticket situation goes, if I manage to not shove forks in my ears in the next few hours.


Sunday, March 7, 2010

Girls Got a Bangin' Frame

It's day 60.

Last night was a bust. No offence to anyone but I kind of had a terrible time, I tumbled down some stairs, got blisters on my feet, ran around downtown Monroe with no shoes on in 26 degree weather, got hit on by a newly freed prisoner (oxymoron!) who told me he wanted to "bang my frame," and had a battle royal with a full grown boxer over sleeping arrangements. To top it all off I woke up at 6:30am for no reason at all, aside from dog wrestling that is.

Today Holly took the girls and I to the mall and we poked around there for several hours before we went to get some dinner. It was all pretty good but we definitely got entirely too much food. Now I'm just over stuffed and exhausted, not to mention still ridiculously dehydrated. It just makes me wish I had stayed home. I could have caught up on some reading, and avoided weird jokes about frame banging this morning. Oh well, what's done is done and the weekend was a pretty good one overall. I was really hoping to have more to say. I have something on my mind, but I was kind of thinking about leaving it until tomorrow when I'm feeling more passionate and in the writing mood.

So, I guess once again - that's all folks.


Saturday, March 6, 2010

Busy, Busy!


Here is my rapid, early morning attempt at not failing, like family night failed. I got most of the food done, and had to take Hannah to CVS and the take her friend Paige to pick up some clothes so she could spend the night. When we got back Angie, Randell and the kids were already here and we ate right away, because no one else was coming. Once dinner was done, everyone went upstairs for about 5 minutes and then Angie and crew left. So that wrapped up family night, 25 minutes of seeing them. Awesome!

After that Holly, Autumn and I snuggled upstairs and watched "Everybody's Fine." I have NEVER cried so much during a movie. I was tearing up ALL the way through it because Robert Di Niro reminded me so much of my dad and his flock of kids, yet somehow still managed to me lonely. It seriously broke my heart, and then the end happened and I felt like I had died a million deaths. It was horrible.

Today, Holly and Autumn have to go and make some first communion plate and church and I'm going to drop Hannah at a friends house. Once we're done with that we plan on heading to the mall to see if we can find something fantastic to wear tonight, then we're scooting to a wedding reception. I pray that it's going to be fun, and that I don't know the bouncer since it's in Monroe. We shall see. If any of you Monroe folks want to come with us, get a hold of me and I'll let you know where it's at!

See ya tomorrow, hopefully with fun stories in tow!


Friday, March 5, 2010

Mia Famiglia!

We're doing it,

First family dinner since we all became parentless orphans. It's making me feel a little stressed out but I'm kind of excited about it. Of course Joe won't be here because he thinks it's cool to live four hours away, but I think Tony and Denise are coming, Ollie has to work, but Noel and the kids might come and of course Angie, Randell and their bay bay kids will be here. I don't know how Holly convinced the girls to stay home tonight haha. It's the weekend, they usually split as soon as possible. I'm also trying to work on getting Chas and his girlfriend to come up, I don't know how good I'm doing at convincing him though.

So yeah, I've been making homemade meatballs since like, 10:30am, and I think I just about have them done. It's my first time ever making them solo. I used to help Kim when she made them so I think it'll be fine but it's times like these I wish I just call her up and ask if I'm doing it right. It's very stressful. Not to mention I feel like garbage again! Ugh! Oh well, I know everything is going to go off without a hitch. I love my family and they'll make everything smooth. I have a good feeling about it.

I'm kind of worried about tomorrow though, I have to go to church for another one of Autumn's little things, then we're suppose to go shopping and then to a wedding reception. I'll probably have to blog super early in the morning, which sucks because I never have anything to talk about that early. Um, okay, I know I don't have much to talk about nearly always, but whatever.

Anyway, that's all the time I have, I better get back to the kitchen before I start burning shit! Wish me luck!

See ya'll tomorrow!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Jesus of Suburbia


Sometimes I just do not get people. I can be a kind of shy person sometimes, not too often but on occasions I'm a TINY bit standoffish. I can totally understand people being like that sometimes. What I DO NOT GET is people who are like that all the time. I was just on Facebook trying to be nice to a girl from my past and I was explaining things and being really nice, and while she was giving me polite answers back, they were way too short for my liking. If I remember correctly when she was not a person in my past, and still very much in my present I tried engaging her in conversations and basically got the same reaction. I'm a talker, I like to talk, and say things and give details and I guess I need to start understanding that not everyone is like me. I mean, I get it, if you're not a talker, you're not a talker but I think I'm one of those people who just does not understand when someone doesn't want to talk to me. I KNOW that I am ridiculously friendly, I'm sarcastic and I'm hilarious, what is not to like?

Okay just kidding, but in reality it's a very rare occurrence for me when I can't hold a conversation with someone. In my prior experience I've basically been able to get the most quite, shy people talking and this girl will just NOT break. I tried for so many years to be her friend, and even though she was always very friendly, she just never seemed interested in actually having a real conversation with me. Lately I've had a theory though, I met her when I was in middle school. I believe it was my last year of middle school though, my dad was wild, and I was loud. That right there might have been her trigger to stay away. Once high school started she probably heard stories from other family members about our wild party ways and just wasn't interested. So I guess I get why she stayed mum back then. Now it's a different story though but perhaps she thinks I'm still that girl, the X poppin', vodka chugging, blue haird punk? I'm not that girl anymore though, I've changed in so many ways. I think we all did. I don't know how it happened but basically everyone I partied with back then snapped out of it, we all are very decent people now.

The more I write this out, the more I realize that I've probably been being judged for years, haven't I? I don't know how I never recognized it before but it definitely seems like the only answer to my mind boggling questions. I don't want to be judged, but it's been happening. Mother fuck. I thought only God could judge me? Is she the Jesus of Suburbia?

Truthfully though, I really do understand that she may not have been judging me at all, she MAY just be a quiet girl, who doesn't talk much. I just get this feeling now though because my family, friends and I were so much different than her family and friends. It's just the only logical reason why she wouldn't even bat a lash at my charming ways.


P.S Question - Am I being judged, or is she just a shy girl? OH! The possibilities! Oh, and yes, I did quote Green Day. I'm definitely still awesome.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Internet Crazies

All right,

So last night a weird thing happened. After I posted my blog, Katelynn and I were talking about "My Life as Liz" and the fact that Liz's love interest, Bryson, was WAY too cute for this girl Jami that he dated. So as we were talking I stumbled upon his Formspring account. For those of you who don't know formspring is a website that lets you ask questions to people and they just go through and answer them, pretty basic. So I asked Bryson a question about why he was dating her and I started it off as "I don't want to come across as a shallow asshole..." and he answered me by saying something along the lines of "Well you did come across that way." The thing about this site, is that the answers people give are public, and I forgot to hide my username. The first thing I notice was a tweet coming from Bryson's Twitter account that said:

"If you start a question with "I don't want to come across as a shallow asshole" chances are, you're going to. Sorry, but if the shoe fits..."

After this my formspring was LOADED down with "questions" calling me all kinds of weird things. One person even told me that they were going to rape me in the ass because I deserved it. Now look, I'm a pretty reasonable person and I don't take much of anything people say on the internet seriously. What I don't get is why so many people came to the girls defense. I asked it in a sort of nice way, and to be honest I don't know many people who would look at Bryson and this girl together and NOT wonder why he was dating her. The fact of the matter is that pretty people date pretty people. There is no way that people didn't see this girl and think SOMETHING along those lines. Not that him dating her really bothered me at all, I just had to ask because of my suspicions about the reality of the show.

Bryson is a ridiculously good looking guy, and she is the complete opposite. After reading her Twitter and her formspring I can't even say that maybe he dated her because she has an outstanding personality. She was boring, slightly rude, and whiny. Which leaves me to wonder, were they really ever dating at all?

What I really want to say to the crazy Formspring stalkers though is LEAVE ME ALONE. I didn't say ANYTHING that you guys didn't think yourself. Call me superficial, call me shallow, I honestly don't care. The world was thinking it, (okay, not the world, the show isn't that popular) and I said it. Get over it, move on with your lives, and stop leaving stupid, grammatically incorrect statements in my questions box. Go raise money for earthquake victims. The world would be a better place if you little psychos spend all that built up angst and energy on helping people rather than flipping out on internet people anonymously.

This is what I'm getting at, I've come to two conclusions today. The first being that people on the internet REALLY need to get lives and stop worrying about the stupid shit, and two, that "My Life as Liz" is probably a lot more fake than I thought it could be yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to watch, but I'll be sure not to ask anymore questions to Bryson for fear of his rabid fan girls wasting my sweet, precious time.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Life......As Faith.

I like children. Most of the time.Today, I am not so sure. All I have to say is "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Anyway, now that I've got that out of my system I want to talk about "My Life as Liz." I don't really know about this show. It's so odd and I think it might be trying to pass it self off as a Laugna Beach type of thing. Sometimes the situations seem like they could be real but then there are moments when it's clearly scripted and acted out. The main mean girl Cori is absolutely ridiculous. I honestly can't imagine anyone in the world actually being that much of an asshole. MTV definitely wants these people to see genuine but the funny thing to me is that they all have Twitter accounts and no one but Sully and the previously mentioned Cori girl seems to act like they did on the show. She definitely is a huge bitch on Twitter but I bet someone is telling her to do that.

I read this blog earlier from someone who says they went to school with these people and was there during the filming and that a lot of things are definitely staged. They also said that Liz was never an outcast like she's claiming, which I can totally believe because a girl like her in my school would have just hung out with me and my friends, and none of us were outcast. The only thing I didn't necessarily buy from the blog I read was the fact that Liz was/is a hardcore drug addict. I've grown up around drug addicts and I know what almost every drug would make you act like, and she doesn't seem like she's on any drugs at all.

I don't know, does anyone watch the show? What do ya'll think about it? Is Liz a drug addict or an outcast? Neither?

I'd say neither.

Monday, March 1, 2010


I've made mistakes, and I feel responsible. I spend my days wondering, and questioning myself. With some things I know I did it wrong, but occasionally I get the notion that somethings I inadvertently did right. It's odd thinking back about different situations, the things that were easy and should have been logical I always fucked up. The hard decisions, the ones that I didn't want to think about, always seemed like they were wrong - at first. Immediately after the decision was made, I always felt overwhelmingly wrong but the more time that passed, the more right it turned out.

I heard somewhere a couple weeks ago that before a person dies, the universe closes things out for them. Sometimes they lose their job, or something close to them. There is different situations, but the more I sat and pondered this idea, the more I believed it. The only problem with that is the more I believed it, the more I regretted my decisions of the last two years. Was it the universe pushing me away? Or was it selfishness?

I always thought I was a selfless person but now I know the truth. I think back to the day I moved away, and how less than a year later the universe started closing. I could have stayed, but I wasn't selfless, and even though no one actually asked me to stay, I could see it in their eyes, and I knew what they wanted. It wasn't the universe working in mysterious ways, I was selfish.

I am still selfish, because today I forgave myself. But I am also selfless because if I didn't forgive myself, I would never be able to give back to the world. The Universe would have swallowed me whole.

"And I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health. I said "there is nothing that I can do for you that you can't do for yourself." He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help." So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt. He said, "I think I'm cured. In fact, I'm sure. Thank you stranger, for your therapeutic smile."" -Bowl of Oranges, Bright Eyes

Everyone is alone, but it doesn't have to be that way. Forgive yourself no matter how sever your mistakes were. It is the only way to move on.