Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

Yo,

Today was pretty all right.

Katelynn and I spent lots of time watching True Blood last night, passed out and woke up about to die from heat exhaustion.

After everyone got showered we were getting ready to leave when some stupid crazy thunder storms started and the weather channel started telling us that they might threaten LIFE.


So once the life threatening storm was over we headed to Brad's house for some Memorial Day BBQing. It was a lot of fun, and we hung out for a while even though it was basically raining cats and dogs. At about 9ish we decided to come back to the house, and we've kind of just been chilling telling life stories since then.

I thought about writing a big long "Oh, we love our Vets" post but by the time I even thought to blog it was late. I only have 30 minutes left in this day to post so there's not time for any of that jazz.

But - I am grateful for the troops, and vets and so on and what not.

I hope everyone had an AWESOME Memorial Day weekend.

See ya tomorrow,
Faith

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Back So Soon?

Hey hey,

I seem to have made it home in one piece, though a little earlier than I expected.

We were wavering as to whether we wanted to come home today or not but in the end we decided it was probably the best thing to do.

Overall it was nice to spend time with my family, even if Angie did get way too drunk, and Ollie pulled a grand theft auto and crashed Joe's truck into a tree stump.

We didn't end up on the river at all because of a series of unfortunate events but that's all right. It's not even that serious.

I'd like to say everything turned out better than expected but that would be a lie. I'm a little bit disappointed but I guess that's my own fault. On the plus side we did end up getting home in time to take a dip in Brad's pool and eat dinner with them.

For the rest of the night Katelynn and I are going to watch movies and tomorrow we're going to head back over to Brad's because he's having a little Memorial Day bbq. Should be a good time.

See ya then!
Faith

Saturday, May 29, 2010

IT'S GO TIME

Hey, hey!

It's 10 minutes until 8am, I am freshly showered, and excited to go.

I think all of my stuff is packed, bathing suits, beer bong? I don't need anything else, right? Right.

Now I'm just waiting for my hair to dry a little bit so I can do something with, and waiting on Katelynn to get out of the shower, and then it's go time!!!


I STILL do not know what goes on with a few people who are coming yet though, so hopefully they all work it out really fast because I will not wait around for stragglers.

Also yesterday I just wanted to note that basically at the end of every blog I say either "So yeah" or "but yeah." Which makes me a really horrible, loser, blog writer. I apologize for my lack of words in my brain.

Welp, Katelynn should be out of the shower soon so I'm going to get out of here and get as much stuff done as I can before it's time to go!

See you Monday!
Faith

Friday, May 28, 2010

It's Almost Go Time.

Hiya!


It's almost go time!!! I spent the day cleaning, packing, and doing laundry. It's hard to focus on anything really because I keep thinking about how in 24 hours I am going to be wasted floating in the waters of Paradise.

Don't be jealous.

All that is really left to do is a little bit of last minute shopping and packing. Though I do think we're still trying to figure out the rise situation for a few people, but it'll all work out in the end.

Right now I'm just waiting for Katelynn to get all of her stuff done and head on up here so we can get everything else ready, and then I guess we just wait. We might go down and hang out with Scooter for his 21st birthday, but I don't know if that's the greatest idea, though it does sound like a fun one. We'll probably end up sitting here and watching season 2 of True Blood.

So yeah, I guess that's it. I'll be back at ya tomorrow bright and early, and probably not at all on Sunday unless I feel like sneaking away from the party for a bit. We'll see!

Peace,
Faith

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Are you DeWyze?

Hi, hello.

Last night was the season finale of American Idol, and as I predicted, Lee DeWyze won. He's adorable, but that's about it. America Idol sucks so much now days that it really just doesn't even matter. So that's all I'll say about it.

This morning I woke up, got Autumn off to school and watched Happy Gilmore. Hannah missed the bus and she wasn't feeling great so she stayed home today and I've kind of just been watching her do all the house work that I normally do. It's sort of a nice feeling.

A few hours ago I got a phone call that came with some pretty exciting news. I can't share it yet, but let me just say that I am SUPER EXCITED.

Other than exciting news and watching Hannah be my slave for the day, I did mop the floor and vacuum two of the living rooms. That's about all I had in me though.

I'm definitely ready for it to be tomorrow now though. Once it's Friday basically all the waiting to take my vacation is over. It can not come soon enough!!!

Anyway, I don't feel like writing today, obviously so I suppose I will see you tomorrow.

Peace,
Faith

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Caterpillars

Why, hello there day 140.


It's basically been the most beautiful week of my life. The weather has been perfect, I haven't felt depressed, and in two days I get to finally be on vacation with basically all of my family and friends, okay friend. I only have one.

On top of all of this, there is this single dad scientist guy who lives down the road from me. He introduced himself and his son a month after I moved in here on Halloween of 2008. I've kind of been feening after him ever since. Since that fateful October day, we haven't spoken a word to each other because we're basically never in the same spot. I can usually see him, but he can't see me. Wow, that sounded creepy. Anyway, that changed yesterday. Autumn was catching caterpillars and I walked outside to try and convince her to let them go and as I was doing this he walked by with a BABY in his arms and joined our conversation about caterpillars. I never asked him where the hell the baby came from, because I wasn't prepared to get my heart broken but it was a lovely conversation.

So then this morning I was walking Autumn to her bus stop and we have to walk right by his house to get there, and he came outside to get into his car, and he waved hello and told me good morning. Which NEVER happens. That dude is never outside in the morning. So, naturally I am convinced he has a crush on me.

Good times.

But yeah, after today I'll blog tomorrow, Friday and Saturday, but I can't promise a Sunday post. I will however promise a Monday post - no, two Monday post to make up for Sunday.

I don't even feel badly about it either because I'm going to be in PARADISE.

Be very jealous,
Faith

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

DeWyze?

Welp,

Today mostly consisted of chaos. Lots of running around, driving in the heat and just being on the go. I've finally been able to sit down, though I still haven't figured out a way to beat the heat.

I need to basically take off all my clothes, because it's really hot in here. Especially because Lee DeWyze is on my TV singing Everybody Knows. That man is so beautiful, and he is the only Idol that I've liked from the beginning of the show, that ended up making it to the finale. So figure, this will probably be the last year I watch American Idol anyway. I'll miss Simon. X Factor is where it's at.

Anyway, at this point I don't even care if he wins or not. Crystal is cool, and she's from Toledo, so I have to support her but I don't think she'll be really popular and make it far. I can see Lee's fine self making a pretty big impact on the music industry. I hope so anyway.

So yeah, I'm gonna go and watch this show, and bring this hot, busy day to a close.

See ya tomorrow,
Faith

Monday, May 24, 2010

Well, I Wasn't Expecting That...

IT IS HOT....

and for some wacky reason I am wearing pants. In my defense, I wasn't wearing pants earlier. But I have to go get Autumn and it's definitely laundry day. So there is no way for me to not wear pants.

So here I sit, in the heat, with hot men with no shirts on swarming at my neighbors house, redoing her roof....and I am wearing pants. It's a disgrace.

Anyway, aside from the heat and pants wearing, today as bit a bit crazy. There has been this whole big thing where Katelynn maybe might not being able to come on Memorial Day Vacay with us because she works with a bunch of whores. It should be fine, I think everything will work out in her favor and we will be floating down the river with a cooler in between us in no time. If it doesn't work out in her favor, well I'll just be devastated and probably not want to go anymore. I want to see all my family and friends but at the same time it would suck without her. So, keep your fingers crossed.

Oh-kay.

Just took a break from this blog and Katelynn told me she quit because her boss really is a whore (She worded it differently.) So I guess it all worked out in her favor? Hahah So uhhhh, I guess score!!

Well, yeah I have to go now and get Autumn. I've been a procrastinator!

I'll be back tomorrow,
Faith

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Nuffin

Supp?

Last night Holly, Angie K and myself went over to Jamie's for an hour or so and drank some beers (hence the late drunken blog post about Connie's birthday) and then I came home and Holly went elsewhere.

So, as you can tell it was pretty unexciting.

I woke up today and realized it was completely beautiful outside, so I took off my clothes and laid on the deck for a few hours, and thankfully, didn't flash anyone.

After a while Holly came home, and we cleaned off the deck and moved around patio furniture, then made dinner, looked at some real estate, and watched Garden State.

Which brings me to where I am now, sunburned and in the middle of Garden State. I forgot how much I love Zach Braff.

Anyway, there's really nothing exciting going on here. We hammered out a lot of the plans for this weekend and invited a few more people. I really hope it ends up being a blast. We shall see. I'm probably not going to be able to blog on Sunday, but that really just all depends on if Katelynn and I decided we want to stay until Monday or not.

So yeah, I guess that's it.

I'll see ya tomorrow,
Faith

Saturday, May 22, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!!!!

OH MAN.


I forgot to blog again today.

I mean, not really because I remembered now. But I ALMOST forgot.

It sucks that I remembered now though, because I'm sort of drunk. Drunk enough to spill Sam Adam's on my signed copy of An Abundance of Katherines. Sucks.

I almost went and spent the night somewhere else, which would have also made me forget, so I'm pretty glad I remembered to come home.

What is really important today though, is that the girl who got me through high school as a sane person, is turning 21 today. I am drinking beers for you Connie Kalte. I love you, and I hope you're at least a little bit more drunk than I am.

I spilled BEER on a signed copy of my favorite authors book for YOU. All for you.

We may not chug 5 o'clock vodka from the bottle anymore, and we may not have weekly sleepovers, but I still love you, and I'm really, really, really happy that you're 21.

Happy Birthday Titty Spice.




I have got to stop blogging and go join the fun now. Today is SPEACIAL. If you're not drinking a beer in Connie's honor....I disown you!!!!!!!!!!


Peace,
Faith

Friday, May 21, 2010

Man in the Mirror

I don't know which way things are going right now.

So I'm kind of just riding it out until we see what goes on.

Nothing really happened today. I woke up to Autumn running down the stairs yelling "Aunt Faith! Is your alarm set?! I think I missed the bus." We, we were late, and then we decided to just not show up. So we had a stressful day together at home, getting on each other's last nerves. I don't know what it was, but I just could NOT handle her today, and I'm sure she probably felt the same about me.

So right now we're just waiting for Holly to get home so we can take Hannah to church, and then we will probably just stay in and have a movie night, even though at this point I could really use a little help from my friends (Yes, I just quoted Joe Cocker since his birthday was yesterday.)

Hopefully something more exciting than a movie night will happen, but considering how things are going that's probably not the case. I'll most likely just end up sitting here watching Autumn lip sync Michael Jackson and be mean to me for the rest of the night.

Awesome.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hmm..

Today started out fantastic aside from the fact that I was feeling a little bit crappy when I woke up. Everything else just seemed perfect.

I decided to throw on my bathing suite and lay in the sun for a couple hours at around noon. Once I was doing that for about an hour I decided that I wanted to day drink. I mixed up some fruit punch and passion fruit Smirnoff. It was an unusual day drink choice for me, because I'm usually a bloody mary drinker when I'm working on a day buzz. But I had this the last time i was with Katelynn, and it sounded pretty good again.

So after about my second drink I decided to get up to get a refill, what I didn't notice was my elderly neighbors and their hot son tinkering around in their backyard. What I also didn't notice was my boobies flopping out of my top. But of COURSE they noticed, nips and all. I flashed the neighbors. Traumatizing.

I should have noticed then that my day was going down hill, but of course, I didn't. That's when I fell asleep....in the sun. When I woke up Hannah was home and we chatted for a while before Autumn got home.

After that something happened that I'm not really comfortable writing about, but it's making me nervous and scared and I'm feeling a little bit helpless.

Right now I'm just trying to shake off the day buzz so I can see clearly and feed children.

Wish me luck, for a while.
Faith

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Fantasy

I feel like an ass.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and while I acknowledged it in my life (tweeted about it, and mentioned it to a few family members) I didn't blog about it. Which when I realized it today, I thought was pretty weird. Every year, before I even had this blog, I would make some kind of a blog type post about her on her birthday, and this year I just didn't even think about it.

So I feel like an asshole. I don't know what it is but this year her birthday wasn't really something that effected me. I think that I always felt sad about it because I knew that I should. But truthfully, as much as I know she was a fantastic woman, I didn't actually know her. I don't have a single memory in my brain about her, so it's hard to go on missing someone you never really even knew. I think it's also different this year because I am so preoccupied missing my dad. I knew him, inside and out and I miss him constantly. So I think my issue this year is that I was busy missing someone who was real to me.

I know that my mom was a real person, and that she did real things, and she birthed real people. But usually to me, she is just a fantasy. I've never known what it was like to have a mother, so I can't really miss having one.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything that she did. I wouldn't be here if she was a selfish woman. She knew that to give birth to me would mean to risk her own life. But she did it anyway. I have a deep love for her, and I wish more than the world that I would have had a chance to know her. But I can't miss her the way that I am missing my dad every minute of every day, and that seems a little unfair.

But that's life isn't it? If anyone knows the unfairness of it, it's me. I do know that so many people have it so much worse than me though, and that's why I'm not going to let it bring me down. Sure, I still get sad sometimes and find myself asking "why?" but at least I got to know and love one of my parents. Some people don't get to know either of them.

That's just life, and it's passing us by every day. There isn't time to sit around and think about how unfair it is.

Carpe Diam.
Faith

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I'm Chuck Bass..

Today, there was some tragedy in my life.

It seems as though they killed off Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl. I'm not sure if this is true or not, but if it is, I'm probably going to be pretty upset come September. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING makes my heart beat like Ed Westwick saying "I'm Chuck Bass..." COME ON. It doesn't get better than that.

Along with the possibility of Chuck Bass no longer being a part of my Tuesday morning routine, I got some more bad news. The CW cancelled Melrose Place. I mean, this wasn't as unexpected, or as traumatizing, but I'm still a little bit sad. The show wasn't super exciting, and I didn't love any of the characters, but I'm still mildly disappointed. Oh well.

Right now I just got back from K Mart and I'm waiting around to see what everyone is doing tonight. I just may have the house to myself, but that's probably doubtful.

I'm thinking that I'll go to sleep early tonight. I haven't had any caffeine today (and surprisingly no withdraw symptoms) so I should probably be able to sleep easily.

So, I guess I'm going to go and watch Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader and waste the rest of the day away.

See ya!
Faith

Monday, May 17, 2010

Nothing

Hi, hello!!

Today, I've got nothing. Besides the crazy dreams that everyone, myself included, has been having, today brought nothing new or exciting my way. I don't know what's going on with these dreams but everyone is dreaming about my death and funeral. It's so freaking weird, and quite frankly it's kind of creeping me out. Though, the good part is that Katelynn telling me about hers made me really want to take my book seriously.

So we'll so how that goes. Right now I'm kind of just watching the Royal Tenebaums with Hannah and trying not to get irritated by people's attitudes.

That is seriously all I've got for you, I can't even think of anything else I could possibly say. It has been the most boring, ridiculous day, and my baby fever has not left me.

Which is a really bad thing.

Pray for my release. hahahaha

See you tomorrow,
Faith

Sunday, May 16, 2010

She's Back!

Sup?

Today I woke up to Holly making me omelets, which was pretty amazing. We also had some weird sausage swirl thing that I found on the internet yesterday, which were kind of good too.

After that we went and visited Grammy and Aunt Kathy, and then came home to work in the garden..we had a lot of weeding and mulching to do. Ever since then we've kind of just been hanging out watching TV and doing a whole lot of nothing. It's great to have her back.

Right now we're about to watch some movies Aunt Kathy gave us (Avatar and The Tooth Fairy) and then probably hit the hay. I think tomorrow I will post awesome pictures of our awesome garden because I know you awesome people really care.


Hahaha! See you then!!

Faith

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Ironic

Hello World!

Today has been absolutely beautiful! I woke up with Katelynn and Hilary this morning and we sat around talking and stuff until they left. After that I cleaned up the house a bit, cleaned out Holly's car and laid outside in the grass with Macie. That wasn't the best idea......but ya know, we live and we learn.

Holly is on her way home right now, but they probably won't be back until like midnight so I might go out and do something tonight, depending on how I feel after grocery shopping. I'm going to go and get the things to make omelets in the morning.

So it's basically been a pretty relaxing day. The only thing that's bothered me is someone asked me an anonymous question in my formspring account about whether I think that it's ironic that my name is Faith. Ya know what? Fuck off. There isn't anything ironic about my name. My mom had really good reasoning and anyone who actually knows me would know that, and not be a complete dickhead about it. Plus I'm kind of sick of people giving me shit about my wavering beliefs in God. It's none of their damn business. I almost wish that I didn't believe at all still, I got less grief when I didn't even talk about it.

It's whatever though, I am done with letting people get me down.

I'm going to head to the store and get this party started.

Peace,
Faith

Friday, May 14, 2010

ONE DAY!

I'm posting now because Katelynn and Hilary are coming over, and I seem to forget about blogging when they're are around me. I would have forgot if I didn't look at Facebook and see my blog icon.

I don't really know what we're doing but I think that it should involve the trampoline and margaritas. Hannah is here so we're definitely not getting too crazy.

It should be a good time, even if we just sit around and shoot the shit.

TOMORROW - Holly comes home. I talked to her earlier today and it made me realize that I am definitely ready for her to be here. This week has gone by waaay too slowly. I think Angie Kennedy and I are going to throw her a tiny little welcome home party because we missed her so much. It'll probably be a bust for her though since he probably won't be home until about 10pm and she'll be whooped. Oh well, we will make her drink bloody marys haha. I don't have an obsession with them or anything...

Anyway, I'm going to go finish getting ready and head to the store to pick up some goods before the girls get here.

I'll be back tomorrow,
Faith

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Withdraw

Yo,

Today has been very, very, very frustrating. I love these girls to death and they have been little angels all week long but today they must have had piss in their cereal or something. It's driving me insane, and they haven't stopped yelling at each other since 3pm.

That is pretty much my day in a nut shell. We just got done with dinner and now Autumn and I are in the process of working on some things outside. We've added water to the hot tub, weeded the garden, picked up trash and I think that we're just going to hop in the hot tub now. I need a bloody mary, and nothing goes better with one than a dip. I don't know if it's a mixture of the girls arguing, not having any coffee today, and the carpet cleaner but I feel so sick, and my head hurts so much so I'm hoping that the bloody mary is going to help.

Oh! I forgot, yesterday after I posted I looked around the house and realized that Macie wasn't sitting by my like she normally was. I called all around, and went outside to find the gate unlatched. So I woke up Hannah and we roamed the neighborhood with Matt and Travis trying to find her until some guy told us a woman named Linda had her and was looking for her owners. So we started knocking on all the doors until eventually - two hours later - heard Travis yelling Macie's name and she asked if Macie was the chocolate lab. So we got her back. Apparently when we knocked on her door she was at the vet with Moose trying to see if she had a microchip locator.

I'm just glad she's back. It was really stressful.

Right now, I hear that bloody mary and the hot tub calling me. Two more days until Holly is home! Hurray!

See you tomorrow!
Faith

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

School Librarians

Ughh.

Today I woke up to a million messages from Angie begging me to bring her the Starbuck's double shots I accidentally took home, so once Autumn was off to school I packed them up, went to the library, caught up on some reading, and went to Angie's caffeinated rescue.

I sat around the office for a while listening to her sing and be weird, took her to the store, over caffeinated myself, threw up a little, and came home.

The girls had a half day at school today, so they were home shortly after, with friends and pizza, and it started to get a little bit annoying. So I decided to take Autumn and sneak off to the only sanctuary that I know, the Whittacker Road Library - again.

I let Autumn get a couple books, and she told me how her librarian at school wouldn't let her check out books that were above her grade's reading level. She's in second grade and would rather be reading books that have chapters and are a little higher level than the books the kids in her class are reading. This REALLY infuriated me, and I'm honestly considering calling her school. That librarian obviously does not know my niece and doesn't understand that she CAN read AND understand books that are made for at least 4th graders. I don't get why that librarian thinks she has the authority to tell kids what they are and are not allowed to read. I think that if a child wants to try and read something that is a little bit out of their league (and in Autumn's case, it's not) then NO CARING LIBRARIAN should tell them that they can't at least try. That goes against everything that I have ever known, telling a child that they CAN'T do something that would be productive to their learning.

So, after my irritated little fit I had, we came home, watched the teenagers leave one by one, and waited for Autumn's dad to come get her. I feel weird that she's not going to be spending the night with me tonight. I'm not sure what I'm going to do not having her kick me in the head and hog the entire king sized bed haha.

For now, I just woke up from a nap, and I'm making Hannah dinner that she probably won't eat and just hanging around.

Tomorrow I have no plans yet, but hopefully something good will happen.

Until then..
Faith

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Rain

I'm going to make this short and sweet.

Today has been fucking retarded. It's been raining cats and dogs all day. I usually love the rain, but it's been too cold to actually enjoy it.

On top of the shitty weather, I haven't really felt well, I've been extremely tired, and I spilled so much cinnamon coffee beverages on the kitchen floor after I got out of a vervain soak. I've said it twice today but it really does smell like Santa Clause is trying to ward off vampires from entering the house.

Right now I'm kind of watching Stealing Harvard and counting down the seconds until it's time to go to sleep. I think Autumn is probably going to make me do some laundry before that will ever even happen.

So I better go. Peace.
Faith

Monday, May 10, 2010

Conniption

Ayeeee

Not a whole lot is going on today. I started my search for an espresso machine and took Ang to the grocery store again. Now I'm sitting here staring at the dishes that teenagers love to leave around the computer and looking up YouTube clips of Spencer Pratt having conniption fits. I saw one of him last night freaking out on The Soup and it's been my mission all day to watch him freak out some more. I've never watched The Hills before but I always knew he was pretty douchey and seeing him act like this so often has only increased my love for his douchebaggery. He's such a complete tool and I honestly love nothing more than to see him freak out.

For the rest of the day the only plans I have are to make dinner, clean up a bit and make Hannah watch The Whackness with me. I totally have a tiny crush on Josh Peck. He's ridiculously good looking. I'm so happy he's not a fat kid anymore.

Yeah, I'm a little douchey myself.

So anyway, tomorrow, I job hunt again and take Autumn to the library. Hopefully it's more exciting than today. I miss my sister, I'm definitely ready for her to be home.

See ya tomorrow,
Faith

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Blue Blood

Hey, hey!

Last night I ended up going over to Angie's and watching Crazy Heart. Once the movie was over I fell asleep, and never did take her shopping. So we woke up pretty early and I took her to the store then, and came home to let Macie outside. After that I went back over to her house and had breakfast, putzied around and then came home.

I thought about heading out to Maybee to pay my respects to my parent's grave but wasn't really feeling up for the drive, or the experience. So instead I finished watching seasons 1 and 2 of True Blood. I'm pissed about a few things that happened, but that's life, huh?

So for now I'm just waiting on the girls to get home, and cleaning up around the house. Tomorrow I'm taking Angie to the grocery store again haha, and going to try and find myself a new job. So, nothing TOO exciting.

I hope that all the mothers out there had a fantastic day with their kids and loved ones. I'm sure that most of you deserved it.

Happy Mother's Day!
Faith

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Notta

I'm just going to make this quick.

Not a lot has happened so far today, I've watched a lot of True Blood and cleaned up. Right now I'm waiting for Angie K. to come over with Lola so I can help her with a little Mother's Day present, and then at 6 I'm going to church with Aunt Kathy.

I'm not sure what's going on after that but I told Angie W. that I would take her shopping tonight, and I still really want to watch Crazy Heart. We'll see how it goes.

For now I need to find some Starbucks Double Shots and wake up, so I can get prepared for church.

I'll be back tomorrow, maybe for a little longer.

Faith

Friday, May 7, 2010

Blast Off

Welp,

I'm ready for a nap, or to just sleep in general. I ended up having to take my sister Angie to the doctor this morning, and we sat in that damn waiting room from 10:45am until 12:30pm. She was being sort of loud and obnoxious though, so it ended up being a little bit funny. It was still annoying though.

After that I did some running around, and now I'm just sitting here waiting for Holly to get home with some peppers so we can make dinner together before she heads out for her 8 day trip to paradise. I'm definitely going to miss her, but she seriously deserves a vacation. It'll be well worth it.

On a different note, Grammy is in the hospital again for some heart issues. I'm not entirely sure what's going on with that, but I'd appreciate it if everyone sends good vibes her way. She's amazing and deserves them. I think everything will be all right. I hope so anyway.

I'm pretty sure I hear Holly coming in now though, so I'm going to peace out. I'll be back tomorrow, all by my lonesome.

See ya,
Faith

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Terrified

Man,

Today was ridiculous. Angie called off work and Holly was going insane in the office...I kind of just sat there ignoring everyone who came in, waiting for someone to bitch at me. But of course it never happened.

At like 4, Holly and I decided to head home, because Hannah didn't have her key and Autumn was about to get off the bus. So we called Hannah and told her to make sure she was down at the bus stop to get Autumn.

When we turned onto our street Holly got a call from Hannah saying that Autumn's bookbag was on the porch and she was no where to be found.

So we took off around the neighborhood, had everyone out looking and called the police. I have NEVER been more terrified in my life. For 45 minutes, we were completely freaking out. As soon as the police showed up, Autumn called Holly's cell phone and said she was at Hester's house. Hester is the awesome little Asian lady who lives behind us. Apparently Autumn's bus driver was about 10 minutes early, and Autumn came home to the locked doors and no one being here. So she went around back and started talking to Hester who invited her in for some orange juice and pineapple cookies.

As soon as I heard Holly say "Autumn, you're with Hester?" I seriously lost my shit. I don't know what happened but I basically stopped breathing and just balled my eyes out. I have never been so happy in my entire life. I honestly didn't know it was possibly to feel so much fear. For 45 minutes the most horrible thoughts you could imagine ran through my head. I can't even being to think about how PARENTS feel that actually have their kids kidnapped.

It's horrible, and I'm so happy she's okay.

It was pretty stressful, so I think tonight I'm going to just chill with the family, and drink a bloody mary, since this is the last night we'll have with Holly for a WHOLE week. Ahhh!

I'll be back tomorrow!
Faith

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Loss of a Legend

It's a sad, but beautiful day.

Yesterday baseball lost a legend. Ernie Harwell went to announce the biggest game in the sky. It's hard to describe the loss of someone who you feel like you've known your whole life, but who you've only been around a handful of times. I will do my best, because that's what he deserves, our best.

I remember sitting next to my dad in a U of M hospital room last September when I heard the news of Ernie's illness. On the other side of us there was a man with his young wife, receiving chemotherapy. It was his TV that I heard the news on. He looked at me with a sad smile and simply said "What a shame, he's a legend though, so he'll never really die."

I don't remember that mans name, or what kind of cancer he was fighting, but I do remember that he was beating it, and despite being incredibly sick, he was always still smiling and he had the best outlook on life. That man and his simple worlds to me are the first things that popped into my head when I heard the news of Ernie's passing yesterday. Even though I think he probably jocked his words from "The Sandlot," it doesn't even matter because he's right. Detroit grew up with Ernie announcing our baseball, smiling at fans, and always being around. That's not something that has to change, he may be gone, but he is not forgotten. He will never be forgotten, because he's a legend, and our memories of him - well, they will never die.

I've been debating going to the memorial services at Comerica Park tomorrow, but I have some issues with things like that now so I'm not sure it's something I'd be able to walk away from with my emotional stability for the month.

Ernie, may your suffering be gone, and your voice be stronger than ever. Rest in Peace old friend.




This isn't "goodbye," it's "see ya later."
Faith

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

V

I'm not exactly sure how it happened but last night I turned on the first episode of season one of True Blood. All of season one and two were there so I figured I may as well see what it was all about.

So here I am, almost 24 hours later, and I am completely addicted. I haven't been able to stop watching it. I think I'm only on like episode 9 or something, but still, that's nine hours out of my day that I wasted. I mean, it's really not even that good. I'm thinking if Vampire Diaries involved sex and drugs, it would over power True Blood with a quickness. Plus, I definitely didn't know that True Blood was based after those House of Night/Sookie Stackhouse books, though I think those books are better than The Vampire Diaries. Whatever though, vampires are taking over the media world and I may as well embrace it as much as I can.

For now, I'm probably going to watch episode 9, and clean the kitchen. I suppose I'll be back here tomorrow for your reading pleasure. Hahah

Faith

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ounces


Today has been a day filled with ghost from the past and I think it was days like this that made me start this blog. At first they were every day, and every day I needed to say something, I need to express something. After a while they died down and I started having these days few and far between, but it seems I've been having them an awful lot lately. So just bare with my for a few days.

Last night my sister started talking about taking a walk, sitting on a park bench and talking to Dad and our step mom of 10 years, Kim. I get that, I totally do because I talk to them sometimes myself. I'm not really sure why because I still have a lot of doubt about a lot of things, but I think I'm just selfish and unwilling to believe the things that logic is telling me. I spent the first 15 years of my life just accepting what people told me. I never thought twice about it, until I met someone while I was baking Christmas cookies at my brother's girlfriend's house, and it changed my life.

He became my best friend, a part of my family, and with out ever really knowing it, he taught me to think for myself. So I spent the next five and a half years not believing, and not because anyone told me not to. But because I sat down, read, and realized to my human, clear thinking mind, it didn't make sense, and it never had. I was okay with it, but my family wasn't. It wasn't something that I voiced often and they never took it. My dad was one of the few people who would actually debate it with me though. It was just something that we did sitting at the kitchen table during the late hours of the week days, or on road trips - we'd debate God. I think that he was ultimately disappointed that I had my issues with God, and I think that's part of the reason I am where I am right now.

My dad died seven months ago, and Kim died two months before that. They're gone, and everyone keeps telling me that they're with God now. "They're with God, Faith. They're happy now." After a while, that's just something you start to take. I accepted it because I knew my dad was disappointed in my lack of belief, and because it was easy. It started to be easy to close my mind off to the fact that my dad, the only parent I ever really had, didn't exist in any form anymore. So I took on God, and I liked it. I still hated (and still do) when people start preaching or shunning me because of my previous (and sometimes present) thoughts. I don't like people to tell me what to think, which could possibly be my main issue with religion in the first place.

I'm pretty sure that right now, I need to keep closing off the logical part of my brain. I'm going to keep going to church when I can, mainly because I think it makes Grammy and Aunt Kathy happy, and a little bit because it makes me happy. It makes me feel connected to my dad again, it makes it easier to let go of regrets. I know that there were a few times that I failed him, and though I know he always would forgive anything I did wrong, I just would like to hear him say it and I want to tell him I forgive him too.

I realized this when I was sitting on my bed Saturday morning after getting out of the shower. I was just staring into space thinking about my life, my past. When my eyes focused I realized I was staring at the memory board we made for his funeral that had a huge picture of him in the middle and space around the edges for people to write little messages. When I focused more I realized I was staring at the note my brother Ollie wrote and it simply said:

"I wouldn't have had it any other way, Dad."

I love my dad, and I miss him everyday. I know he wasn't perfect, and I know I didn't always have the things everyone else did, but that's why I am who I am. That's why I'm not greedy and why I never ask for anything, it's why I'm always trying to make people happy. My dad made mistakes, giant ones, that eventually cost him his life, but he also had so many accomplishments. I can think of six of them right now - three boys, and three girls. Those mistakes and accomplishments, together, formed me, formed my family.

So, no - Ollie, I wouldn't have had it any other way either. I can only hope he's out there somewhere and knows that I appreciate every ounce of his life. Every laugh, every argument, every tear.

Faith

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Mum

Hey, hey!

Today has been pretty rough, in so many ways. It's probably been this way because last night was so rough. I'm going to keep mum on the details, well because I want to but it definitely was not my cup of tea.

I love the friends that I have but I seriously wish I could find people that are more like I am now. I would much rather be watching a movie, or listening to music at home than going out. I'm very aware that I can do that, and I'm not ever forced to go anywhere, but at the same time, who wants to sit at home by themselves all the time. I tested it out last weekend and it was a pretty uncool situation that I had on my hands.

Next week Holly is going to be on vacation, and I think I'll take advantage of that time to straighten my life out, and possibly find some new friends.

But for now, I have some damage control to do over here.

I'll be back tomorrow with bells on,
Faith

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Drunk - Ass

Today, I remembered why I shouldn't drink. I still haven't drank anything since Tuesday when I failed the blog, hung out with hardcore bands, and almost died of a hangover.

But things just get so confusing and weird. I think back on things that I thought for sure happened one way, when they really happened a different way. It's irritating.

So, even though that I only drink once in a great moon anymore, I definitely have decided that I might hate it and it's gets on my nerves.

In other news, tonight, we go out drinking...!

Just kidding, tonight I'm going to get a facial and a pedicure at a Spa Party and then I guess I get to hang out for family night, unless I can find a way to get out of it, which means I need someone to hang out with me, so if there are any takers - uh, let me know.

For now, I feel like I'm probably going to throw up, and I need to take a shower to get all the dust and grime off of me from cleaning everything today.

I'll be back tomorrow, with silky smooth skin.

Faith