Wednesday, May 4, 2011

That's Not All.

"What are we doing here?"
"What am I doing here?"

I've recently found myself asking those two questions over and over. What is my purpose for this world? I entered Year 22 positive that it would be my best year yet. So far, I've been lucky. I've shed my old skin and grew something thicker, tougher - new. In a few days I'm going to be closing out this chapter and starting a whole different one. I'm scared but more than that I'm excited. For over a year I let myself do exactly what my favorite quote said not to do: I got lost int he past.

I spent many days thinking that I've moved on and I was living my life, but really I was just smothering icing over a burnt cake. I was still badly burnt on the inside, regardless of what my outside was saying.

I want to move past this, I want to find the future.
I don't know what's in store for me, or what my purpose is. I don't know what anyones purpose is, but I want to find out.

I'm going to close this chapter, for the time being anyway. I know that there will be times where I will want to look back and read through the old pages. That's just my nature, I don't ever want to forget where I've been or what I went through.

I just want to start writing something knew.

...and that's all she wrote.

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