Sunday, January 31, 2010

Paying it Forward

Hey Guys!

I'm feeling inspired!

Today my sister read me a Facebook status. This guy she knows took his daughter to the Cony Island for breakfast and there was a colored lady sitting next to him. He said he smiled at her, she smiled back but no words were ever spoken. When he was ready to leave he asked the waitress for the bill and she said that the colored woman sitting next to them had already taken care of it.

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about people! YES! This story has restored my faith in humanity! I can not tell you how incredibly psyched and happy this makes me. That woman didn't know him or his daughter. She had absolutely no idea what kind of people they are, yet she took a leap and did something nice for them anyway. People like that woman are the kinds of people I would LOVE to replace the idiots I ranted about yesterday. There is nothing wrong with doing something good for a complete stranger.

Telling this story reminds me of one that my friend Preston told me the other day. It had been a long while since we've talked and we were just catching up. I don't remember how we got on the topic but he told me that he spent Christmas stranded with complete strangers. Of course I had to know more about this so after further prodding he told me that he was on his way to his grandparents house on Christmas when his truck got stuck in the snow. He started walking and the first house he came to, he knocked and they let him in. These people ended up giving him warm, dry clothes, Christmas dinner, and a place to sleep for the night until he could dig himself out the next day.

They took a chance too!! Preston could have been a murderer but all they saw was someone who needed help on Christmas. This is the ultimate definition of a good person. I know that I've been ranting about people lately, and I'm not trying to tell you what kind of person you should and shouldn't be. I would hope that your path in life is clear for you. You can either help, or not help. There isn't any in between here, there is no such thing as too little help from one person. If you can contribute in any way to humanity, whether it be a dollar to Haiti, buying someone's breakfast, or giving a pleasant young man a place to stay on Christmas, it is good enough for me. At least you are not sitting around not helping.

This is proof that Pay if Forward is real. That woman in the diner thought that she was just impacting the man's day when in reality it impacted my sister's too, and then mine, and now hopefully yours.

Here is what I'm asking, put yourself in different shoes today, you don't have to buy someone's meal or take in a stranger, just have a little empathy. I guarantee you that it will change your day.

Make it a good one...


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Happy 21st Birthday Danielle!!!


Today is going to be a good day! Though I am completely annoyed and aggravated right now, I'm going to make the best of it because it's my best friend Danielle's 21st birthday!

Now, to the sloppy alcoholics among us, 21 is a pretty big birthday. I think she did her thing in Monroe last night with Monroe people so tonight I have plans to take her to places in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti/Canton areas. I couldn't be more excited about doing this with her. We have been through so much together, births, breakups, fights, high school *shudder* and now we will take on our twenty-first year together.

Danielle and I met when we were in 6th grade. I was blonde, snoody and annoying. She was brunette, quiet, and adorable. I think our extremely hairy science/math teacher Mr. Little, put us as partners for some project. I'm fairly certain she hated me, and I didn't really even pay attention to her, because I was an asshole. Somehow that project brought us together and she brought me down to planet Earth. I'm not sure really what happened in that fateful class and brought me my lifelong friend, but I am so grateful that it did. From her I have learned that the world most certainly does not revolve around me, that you can go months without seeing someone who is truly your friend, and pick up right where you left off. I have also been blessed with my second God Son because of this friendship. She was the only person I could find that would drive four hours one way with me to pick up my brother when my dad was dying even though she had to scramble to find a babysitter. She is the truest friend I could ask for.

Danielle, I want you to know that even though we couldn't be more different you are the only person who truly gets me, you accept my quirks even though you definitely do not understand them. We somehow made it out of high school still as friends, even though we hung out in completely different crowds. You accept the fact that I can sometimes be unreliable, and I might talk to much, or get weird looks from your other friends. It doesn't matter to you, and I appreciate that.

Thank you for being you, and nothing at all like me. It would never work otherwise.

Happy 21st Birthday Dani!
I love you!


Friday, January 29, 2010


Okay People,

Today, I ate a grilled chicken salad. This is terrific news, you have no idea! It's basically the first thing I've been able to eat since Tuesday afternoon and I am ecstatic! I'm still not feeling 100% but I'm definitely having a much better day!! I'm even thinking if something good pops up, I might get in the shower and head out tonight, though I'm sure I'd end up regretting it later. Oh well.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is a couple sentences people have been texting me and updating their Facebook status with. It is basically something along these lines:

"Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. *99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this.*"

Umm, seriously? I would LOVE to know who came up with this. First of all, it says that America is the ONLY country with starving children, homeless people, and people going without medicating. Let me emphasize on "only" here. NO, we are not the ONLY country with these terrible things happening. WAKE THE HELL UP PEOPLE!!!! Why is it that there are SO many ignorant Americans who are too self centered to see that basically every country in the ENTIRE WORLD has it worse than we do.

I mean, come on!! America doesn't even come close to ranking anywhere NEAR the top 10 poorest countries in the world. In fact, it stands at number 8 for the richest country. So PLEASE, PLEASE you stupid, sorry bastards, STOP saying that we shouldn't be so worried about what's happening in Haiti because it's happening here. That exact situation is not happening in the United States, and I can guarantee that if it does you won't be saying to countries trying to help us "Oh, no please don't help because you have people in your own poor country to worry about." Grow up, this is the circle of life here, and not the one from The Lion King. We're suppose to help each other, we are all on this planet together, whether we like it or not.

It just kills me that people are getting pissed off that Americans are trying to do good things. I saw this girl on Twitter say something like "I hate how everyone is jumping on the Haiti bandwagon now that there was an earthquake. No one cared about Haiti before." Really? A Help Haiti Bandwagon? If that's the case, then pull over and let me on. That's one trend I will happily follow.

Look folks, I'm not trying to degrade anyone and actually call people stupid. It just kills me that there are individuals out there who really think that helping out Haiti is in any way stupid, wrong, or unfashionably trendy. I hate ignorance, and people who promote it (like the Hashtags on twitter that say "doesntmeanyourblack" - YOU'RE!) I want Americans to set a good example and not be outraged when we pull together to help people who are not our own. They are still people, and they deserve help from those of us who are able.

This is America, we are the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
Brave people save lives - because they can.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Blue Melody


Today we lost one of the most influential writers in present history. JD Salinger passed away this morning in his New Hampshire home. I received the news while I was at the grocery store (in a small moment of feeling better) when I got a tweet from John Green on my phone saying Mr. Salinger passed away. It was definitely something very hard for me to swallow, hearing the author of two of my favorite books is gone forever.

As I walked through the isles it started to dawn on me that he is not gone forever, because he will live on through his books and stories until the day when not a single one exist. I don't think this should be a sad day, we haven't seen any new work from Salinger in 45 years and he lived until the ripe age of 91. He's done his work for us, so now we need to do our work for him, today we will celebrate his life, talk about his characters and be thankful he was alive in the first place.

I don't think when Salinger sat down to write "The Catcher in the Rye" he was thinking "Gee, today, I'm going to write something that will inspire people for years to come." But that's what he did, he has inspired thousands of writers all over the world, myself included. I honestly think that he is the reason we have a lot of the stories and authors that we do today.

Though he was reclusive and often found himself in the center of scandals, (John Lennon, anyone?) I truly believe the world would not be the same without JD Salinger being in it. We will miss him, but we will also cherish his work and hold it close to our hearts.

So, today readers and writers alike will mourn his death, but let's also celebrate his life, his work.

Rest in Peace JD Salinger, you will be missed.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

So Ill


When I started this I never thought there would be a day when I literally did not have it in my to blog. Today is that day.

Last night I was all set and ready to go to the Corey Smith show when my niece Autumn started throwing up. Well, it was up to me to clean it all up and her little bug seems to have attacked me also because about 10 minutes before I was going to leave I started puking my guts up. I've never been so violently ill in my entire life. What little sleep I did get was on the bathroom floor with my pillow and blanket, it was that bad. At about 1:30am my niece Hannah woke up with the same bug, and then my sister called me at 3:30am saying she took my nephew to the hospital because he was really sick, turns out he has the same thing. I don't know what it is but it's spreading like wildfire, so I suggest no one comes to visit.

Autumn is feeling better, which is good. Hopefully we'll all be close behind her, I'd like to be up off the couch for more than 5 minutes at a time.

I was thinking about trying to make the Corey Smith show in Grand Rapids tonight but I'm definitely not feeling up to it, I just hope he comes back to Michigan soon.

I don't know, I'm just rambling now so do us all a favor and send good thoughts our way in hopes of everyone feeling better quickly.

Sorry for such lame post lately, I'll be back on track soon.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010



I HOPE today is going to be amazing! I have plans to go see Corey Smith at The Blind Pig, but I probably won't go if I don't have anyone to go with. My friend is a little freaked out about the roads and she would have to drive up here from Monroe, so let's all just keep our fingers crossed that it doesn't snow anymore and the roads are fine!

I've seen Corey before in November. We drove down to Bowling Green, and it was seriously so much fun. So hopefully we'll get to have more fun tonight, especially because he's so close to home.

Other than that, I really don't have much going on to talk about today. The bathroom paining is disastrous. I still haven't taken the painter's tape off the wall because I'm scared of peeling, that's something that I'll have to get to eventually I guess. We're probably going to start over in the downstairs bathroom, it's just a really bad color and I did a terrible job.

Anyway, here I go copping out, but I don't have anything to say. I still wrote, so it still counts. Wish me luck on finding a concert going buddy! Hopefully tomorrow I will have good pictures, and good times to share.

Enjoy your day people!


Monday, January 25, 2010

Two Years..


Today is a sad day, two years ago I got the horrible news that a close friend passed away. It was under horrible circumstances and I miss him every single day but I think it's because of him that I'm the person I am today.

When I was in high school I lost a few people that I was close to in elementary and middle school, but never anyone that I was close with in the here and now. This is our story, and I hope to do it complete justice.

Shakey Shane was a close friend of a couple of my cousins. It had been many years since I saw those particular family members and I was never really close with them. In the summer of 2003, my sister and I ran into our cousins, three brothers, Cody, Mikey and Mitchell. Shane was always around then, and when they started commuting to Monroe to stay at Angie's house for days on end, Shane soon followed. We all became inseparable, doing the dumbest things together including a "Dead End Fight Club." Shane and our friend Robby would go down to the dead end by our house and beat each other up. It was oddly hilarious.

Anyway, we all were together constantly for a few years before they kind of drifted away from Monroe in 2005 or 2006 (not that I blame them, I left myself.) I still kept in contact with my cousins, Shane and our crazy friend Adi but that was about it. Shane would come to Monroe and pick me up and we'd just drive around for the day or go to stupid concerts that he always hated. Though, I did somehow convince him to see Green Day with me once. I felt bad for dragging him along but it was my birthday after all, so he obliged. He kept me free, and we always had fun. It was nice to be able to sleep next to him and not feel pressured or threatened. That's true friendship.

In 2006 our relationship hit a rocky patch and we had some differences. So he stopped coming around as much because it basically sucked for the both of us. Eventually he landed himself a girlfriend, and it wouldn't be until the spring of 2007 that I would see him again. He started calling again, and we would just chit chat like old times, but I only saw him once after that. Things had changed and though we loved each other, we were different now, we had grown up.

In the summer of 2007, I got into a fight with Adi about something, and Shane was dragged into it. It was mutually agreed that we just wouldn't talk anymore. I hate thinking about this, because I lost any chances of seeing him again by being threatened by a girlfriend, and being a stubborn jerk.

On January 23rd, 2008 after several nights of dreaming about Adi and Shane, I sent Adi an e-mail giving him my number and telling him I miss them and didn't want to fight anymore. (This is completely true, Adi will back me up on this fact.) I can't explain why I was having these dreams, I'd say coincidence because everyone who knows me knows that I don't necessarily believe in fate, or any type of psychic abilities. Anyway, I waited a few days with no response and then on January 25th I was sitting in my apartment getting ready for the night when I got a call from my sister. She told me that Mikey called and said that Shakey had died. I hung up the phone without saying much of anything, sat down at my kitchen table and smoked the first cigarette of my life.

It wasn't until two hours later, after sitting by myself and looking at all of our pictures that reality hit me. Shane was gone, and I was never going to get to apologize for giving up on him. Even though I had lost a few other friends, and been broken up with on a couple occasions, this was the first time in my entire life that I ever felt wholly and completely heartbroken.

It took me several months before I could sleep alone and not toss and turn reliving our lives over and over. I cried every day because the silliest things would just trigger me to think about him. The truth is, I felt guilty, it was illogical guilt but it ate at me none the less.

You always think you could have saved someone, until one day you wake up and realize they probably couldn't have even saved them self. There isn't anything that could have been done because people were given impulses and they will do what they want to do. I realized that I am not God, I couldn't have saved him and neither could anyone else. Things are the way they are and there is no changing any of it.

I usually wouldn't say that things happen for a reason, but I will say there is a reason Shane was in my life, and there is a reason he was taken out of it. I don't know if I'm ever going to experience someone loving me the way that he did again, I hope I do, but if I don't, I can leave this world knowing that I have been loved from an outsider even though I wasn't brave enough to accept it. That is possibly the best feeling someone can have, being loved. I also know that if I didn't lose Shakey, and know the feeling of complete loss and heartbreak I wouldn't have been able to pick myself up again when my dad died this past September. I know for a fact that I would still be in bed every single day, and I wouldn't have the drive to reach people the way I want to. Shane's death prepared me for this, as odd as it sounds. People always say you can never imagine the pain of losing your parents. Yes, it was the worst pain that I have ever felt but I had already tasted it because Shakey Shane introduced me to my old friend, Grief.

I feel deeply for his family even though they've only met me a few times. I know that it never gets easier and that time really doesn't heal anything. I miss him every day and I'm sure they do too. I will forever be grateful for all he has given, shown, and taught me. I know he is finally at peace.

Rest in peace my friend.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Hurray! No more letters! I've done my weeks worth of letter writing and I am finally free!!!

I seriously thought that it would be kind of fun and exciting to write a new letter every single day of the week. Well let me tell you, it's not. Annoying is the word.

Anyway, today's post is coming in a bit later than normal because I have a little "Paint the bathrooms" project going on. Like my letter writing I thought it would be pretty fun, but nothing is fun when you keep getting told you suck at it. I guess I should probably just face the music and come to terms with my inability to paint walls. I still kind of blame the lack of edgers in my life for the terrible ceiling job though. Whatever, fuck it. It's hard to be good at something you've only done once in your life, and I am certainly not a natural at anything.

After the paining is done tonight I have big plans to try and get into this book that's due back at the library pretty soon and watch all the Conan O'Brian and Jersey Shore things on the DVR. Woo, sounds thrilling. I am looking forward to the peace and quite though, I had a pretty loud and obnoxious weekend. Luckily the girls don't have school tomorrow so they are staying at other places. Hurray! Um, I do love them, regardless of what it seems.

So yeah, an edger has just arrived in my life so I suppose it's time to see if I can do this any better on bathroom #2. Freaking yay.

As always, I'll be back tomorrow.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Letter #7 - Alcohol

Dear Alcohol,

I know I'm running a grand risk of ripping off that Brad Paisley song but I need to let you in on all the bad things you do to me. Once we get this out in the open I think I might be able to continue our relationship in a more responsible manner.

I have to know why do you let me drink too much when you know bad things will happen? Why do you let me talk to guys who look like Vinny from Jersey Shore, complete with waxed eyebrows and Ed Hardy T shirts? When I find myself indulging in your frosty deliciousness the buttons come undone and the lips get loose (keep your mind out of the gutter.) I say things I normally wouldn't say and make googly eyes at weirdos.

You make me throw up and fall down on my purse making the ever embarrassing "purse dial" happen. Do you know what it's like to purse dial your ex boyfriend? Once that happens he will never believe that you didn't want to call him. You get harassed for days and days. It's horrible.

Alcohol, you make me slutty, along with every other girl on the planet. I do not want to be slutty, but the feeling of your warmth running through my veins and the intense urge to make out with a fist pumping Juice Head go hand and hand. You make me want to house dance and beat up the beat like a complete tool. This is completely unavoidable.

I hate that you are liquid courage because I was obviously given a lack of courage for a reason. I am not suppose to want to slide down stair railings or sit outside in the dark talking to a complete stranger. Which brings me to the fact that you make me lose the ability to think logically. Never would I sit outside in the dark with a stranger without your help. I don't think this deserves a "thank you."

You make my hair smell like smoke and my mouth taste like crap. At the end of the night you make me feel like I haven't eaten in three weeks, and then you take away my ability to sleep decently and trade it in for a black out.

I don't want to break up with you, but I should probably take you on in small doses or at least hire a babysitter. I think that could possibly solve all of our issues. I love you alcohol, even though we only get to see each other a few times a month and you make me look like an idiot, I think we can make it work if we take it slow. I hope to see you soon!

With Love,

Friday, January 22, 2010

Letter #6 - Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I generally am a lover of franchises. I love to see books get turned into movies, and I love to watch as something good reaches millions. I sometimes even like it when an unrealistic love story takes place.

You are an exception. I do not love your unrealistic love story, or your bad book to movie adaptations. I gave you a fair chance and started reading the books when I heard that Robert Pattinson was going to be playing Edward Cullen. To be quite honest I was kind of impressed with the first book (though I was picturing Chase Crawford as Edward the entire time.) When I got my hands on the second book is when it started to go all down hill. While I love Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner anyone?) and Bella's relationship with him, I couldn't help but wish it would soon be over. Her obsession and NEED for Edward made me kind of sick. Are you really teaching girls that it is okay to DEPEND on someone to survive? Bella is so helpless and needy and we really shouldn't be showing girls to accept that kind of behavior. They should know that it's GREAT to be strong and independent.

So, when I moved on to Eclipse I was again, bored to tears. So much that I honestly can't even remember anything about it to mention, besides maybe the tent scene. I think I only remember that because Lautner was talking about being excited to shoot that scene. All that really shows is that it's okay to take your boyfriends jealously. So we move on to the fourth book, which is basically early marriage, blood, sex, and unfortunately no booze. We also have the little part where Bella is turned into a little vampire, and that tiny thing about Jacob falling in love with Edward and Bella's INFANT daughter. WHAT?THE?FUCK???????

Is that for real? WHY are people actually accepting this? It is completely WACKO that this seems to be okay with everyone in the entire world. I have not heard one single peep about this being completely and utterly screwed up. So, apparently Twilight, you have made pedophilia socially acceptable. Congratulations!

Okay, let's backtrack now. Along with being the most ridiculous vampire story around, contributing to pedophiles, and having terrible writing styles, you STILL thought it would be a TERRIFIC idea to have HORRIBLE movies made after you? REALLY?

Not only does the screen play, acting, and directing suck but YOU RUINED ROBERT PATTINSON!!!!!!!!!!! I blame his weirdness on YOU Twilight. I remember back in the good days when he was a small time actor in terrific indie movies (Little Ashes ladies and gents?!!) Now if I ever want to see him act again, I have to watch him as a sexy idiotic heart throb or a constipated, culturally confused vampire in love with a stoned Kristen Stewart. Damn it!!

So now that I have explained my various reasons as to why I hate your stinking guts, all that I ask is that you quickly fade away, tell Stephanie Meyer to never write a book EVER again, and give me my Robert Pattinson back! Is that so much to ask?

It is? I figured that much.

With Annoyance,

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Letter #5 - Jackson, Michigan

Dear Jackson, MI,

Today, I visited your downtown regions. It was not the first time that I graced you with my presence but it was the first time that I did when it was daylight and I wasn't completely wasted.

I saw many frightening things that, quite frankly, I do not ever want to see again. You are a complete eye sore and how anyone could proudly call you home, I do not know. I will give you credit for the beautiful architecture on your houses and buildings, however you made a huge mistake with the paint jobs. I've never seen so many houses with such obnoxious color schemes. I thought about taking pictures but then decided I didn't want to put such garbage on my poor blog. It doesn't deserve it.

Jackson, what I really need to know is why you think it's okay to let your residence still have up Christmas lights and "Marry X-Mas" spray painted on the windows of houses. Yes, "Marry." It's January 21st, Christmas has been over for a very, very long time. This is not acceptable.

Now, I could be being bias because of my previous trip to Jackson. The first time I visited I was with a friend. We found ourselves parked at a house on the scariest street I've ever encountered. Broken widows on houses, shots in the distance, the works. Then I broke my ankle on some steps and the home owner was a complete bitch about it. That's when I realized that not only am I not a fan on the city it self, but I also have never met anyone from Jackson that I liked, and could have a normal conversation with. This could possibly be because your public high school had a 28.5% drop out rate in 2006. That's lovely. There isn't a single school in Detroit that has a drop out rate even CLOSE to that high.

I guess what I'm trying to say here Jackson, is that you completely suck. I kind of hate you, and wouldn't be upset if I never had to visit you again.

You know it's sad when you make Detroit look good. Clean up your filthy streets!

Hoping that you spontaneously combust,

P.S Blog Readers -
I have to mention that I have a deep rooted love for Detroit. I would most definitely live in Detroit over many cities any day. I just used it as an example because it gets a bad wrap.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Letter #4 - John Green

Dear John,

Last night a part of your Great Perhaps came to life. You became a father, there is now a tiny life that depends on you and Sarah to care for it, teach it, and make it into a fantastic little person. This isn't The Great Perhaps that Pudge was looking for and it may not be the one you were looking for, but it is here and I hope you completely embrace this new chapter in your life.

It's probably going to be the scariest thing you've ever been through but I know that you will succeed. At the end of every day you will be more satisfaction than you've ever felt before. Every award that you've won and every book that you've written will feel minuscule compared to the feeling of teaching your baby something new each day.

You are an inspiration to teenagers all around the world, we are all in your corner today. No words can express the emotions I'm sure you are feeling.

I wish you, Sarah and the newest member of your family the best of luck.



Okay, now that my letter of the day is done, let me just say that I am SO sick of writing letters. What the hell was I thinking when I decided to do an entire week of letter writing?! There are not THAT many good people to write letters to and I kind of feel like I'm just reaching now. I can't WAIT for this week to be over!!! I miss being funny!

Last night we had a bit of chaos around here, it definitely wasn't fun. I don't think any of us were sleeping until after 1am so I can feel that everyone is going to be in a terrific mood today. Can't wait! WOO HOO!!

Anyway, peace out for today. Hopefully I'll think of a fun letter for tomorrow, unless Barack Obama keeps talking about taxes and Republicans! Ugh!

Also I just need to add that John McCain is on my TV right now looking like he's having an epileptic fit. It makes me miss election season a little bit..


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Letter #3 - Corey Smith

Dear Corey Smith,

On January 8th I was sitting in my living room with my Corey Smith play list on iTunes thinking about my life and how I got to where I am when "Maybe Next Year" came on immediately followed by "The Good Life." It was in those few moments that I realized I had to do something THIS year, I had to put together a plan and start living the Good Life again. There wasn't any more time to sit around and wallow in the misery I was feeling after losing my dad 3 1/2 months before. It was time to get up and start steering my life in a positive direction and to stop counting the days in a negative manner. So I started a project, to force myself to blog every day for the rest of the year - 358 days.

Well, here I am, 13 days later and I can already feel myself changing back into the person I loved to be. I'm nice to people again, and I go through my days to live, and not just to make it to the next one. Corey, thinking about your life and your music has made me realize that I can do anything in my life if I just put my mind to it. You were a school teacher and now thousands of people know your name and sing your songs. It gives me hope that some day I will be able to reach people as you have. Of course it won't be in the same way because I have no musical ability, but in one way or another I know I can do it. I want to make sure my dad's story is known because people deserve to know that you can overcome anything that life hands you. There should be no such words as "quit" and "give up."

Your music has helped me pick myself up off the floor during the most horrible moments in my life. I turned to your songs when I couldn't form the right words. Now that I have searched my soul and found myself again, the only words I have to say are "thank you."

Faith Wright

P.S - Fuck the "old stuff" fans! The new stuff rocks!

"Life is like a game of tennis; the player who serves well seldom loses."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Letter #2 - American People

This week I'm going to have a theme.

I made yesterday's blog a letter and while doing so I was reminded how much I love to write letters. So for the remainder of the week I will be addressing a letter to someone/something different each day. Here it goes:

Dear American People,

My dad had a flip calendar that gives quotes for every day of the year. He had this for as long as I can remember so I have taken it in and flip the pages every day to give myself a little inspiration and keep his tradition going.

Today I woke up, made my coffee and flipped the page to January 18th and read:

"Do more than exist ... live
touch ... feel
look ... observe
read ... absorb
hear ... listen..."

After reading that I sat here for a while mulling it over. It seems simple, right? Just take your senses and explore them deeper, be aware of your surroundings. The problem with that is most people just don't. They are so busy existing in their day to day lives that they don't find time to really live.

While I took a stand in the NBC debate, it boggles my mind that there are more people in the entire world talking about NBC, than there are people talking about Haiti. I love Conan O'Brian and I wish him all the luck in the world, but his contract is NOT what is important. 100,000 people died in that earthquake, thousands more are injured, helping them is the most important thing that we could do right now. Feel something for these people, observe what they're going through, listen to their pleas. Help them live.

The people of Haiti are not the only ones who need help though, there are people right here at home, on America soil, who are getting shafted and abused every single day. They need you to stand up and support them. There are so many ways to help, you don't have to have money, you can donate old clothes, food, blankets, basically anything. You can also vote, make sure you're registered, and updated on current events. I can not stress enough how important voting is, even in local elections. Knowing the ways you can contribute is the first step. Do research! Google things you don't know the meaning of, read the paper, watch the news. There are unlimited resources right at your finger tips.

There is always a way to help, just open your hearts and do it. You can make a difference.



Sunday, January 17, 2010

Letter #1 - My Future Children

Dear Future Children,

As I write you, I have no idea who you are or what you will become. I do not know the color of your hair, or the shape of your lips. But I do know that I will love you because you are a part of me. I can only hope that for the past however many years I have shown you unconditional love and support. I hope that I have achieved my life goals and I am helping you in every possible way to achieve yours.

I hope that you work hard and be everything you can possible be, but I also hope that you stop to smell the roses once in a while. I hope that your heart never breaks, even though I know it will. I hope that when it does break, you come out the other side a stronger person. I hope that you only allow positive influences in your life. Do not let anyone walk through your mind with their dirty feet.

There are going to be times when you feel lost, and you don't know what to do. I hope that you trust your instincts, because they are nearly always right. You should think with your head, but you should also follow your heart. Never back down from something that you know is right.

I hope that you love your family, not because you have to but because you want to. Some of them are going to make mistakes, and drive you insane. Learn to forgive, it is the greatest gift you could possibly offer. There is almost always room for a second chance.

I hope that you treat people with kindness, even if they sometimes don't deserve it. Listen when others are speaking, even if you're not interested. Do not place your blame on someone else, even if you are scared. You will never be given more than you can handle.

I hope you go outside, dance in the rain, lay in the grass! The world was made for you to be in so take full advantage of it. Take in it's beauty and travel as much as you can. There will ALWAYS be something new to explore.

You are the future for me, but you are also the future for you. Take it upon yourself to make your life mean something. You can impact the world in any way that you want to.

It is my greatest hope that you do.

Love Always,
A Future Mother

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dad Conversations


Recently I stumbled upon a Twitter account called "Shit My Dad Says." While this is a very funny account I can't help but think "Hmm, I did this first." Anyone who known me for the majority of the last five years knows that I had my "Dad Conversation" blogs. My dad was HILARIOUS. So because I'm still not feeling well, today I will just share some of my Dad Conversations today.

This first one took place right after I got a new kitten. We were watching it play with our Chinese Shar Pei, Rylee.

Dad Conversations 8/30/07 -

Me: Kim, you know you like her, just a little bit.
Kim: No, not really.
Me: You have to, just a little.
Kim: I don't like her enough to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Me: What, are you going to strangle her?
Kim: NO, you know, if she is choking or something.
Me: Would you give Rylee mouth to mouth resuscitation?
Kim: No. Well...yeah.
Me: Dad, would you give Rylee mouth to mouth resuscitation?

Dad: My mouth isn't big enough.
Kim: You'd have to do it through his nose Ollie.
Dad: Well, maybe if he had a nose condom, other than that, he'd die.

Dad Conversation May 6th 12:30 am

I'm sitting on the floor of my living room and baby Jayden is sitting on the couch because he woke up, so I'm playing with him doing random faces, saying BOO!, and waving my fingers in front of his face. This is the conversation that followed.

Me: BOO!
Jayden: *Uncontrolled laughter*
Me: Why are you laughing at everything I do? Is it because you're tired and delusional?
Randall: *Laughs*
Me: *More baby talk* Are you tired and delusional? Huh?
Dad: No, Jayden just say 'I'm tired of directing this movie.'

At this we all died of laughter, besides my dad, because it's Cinco De Mayo and he's wasted, and has no idea how funny it was.

Now just think about it.
Me sitting in front of Jayden's face doing stupid things and Jayden saying "I'm tired of directing this movie."

Dad Conversation April 23rd, 2007

Angie and I are sitting on the couch watching "Thank You For Smoking"
Angie is eating some beans and rice and sets it down, so I take it upon myself to grab it and take a bite of her rice.

Angie: What are you doing?
Me: Ha-Ha.
Angie: She just snatched it up when I went to get a drink
Dad: Yeah, well she does that on park benches too. Someone turns their head and she snatches a bite or three of their hamburger.
Angie: ....
Me: .....
Dad: Well, if she doesn't now, she will in twenty years.

My dad had high aspirations for my life.

Dad Conversation March 3rd, 2007

Dad: Hey know I'm a rockstar right?
Me: Um..
Dad: No, really. I this!
*he started playing Streets of Love by the Rolling Stones on..air guitar* See THAT? Grade A Beefy Rock STAR. I could put Mick Jagger out of business
Me: ...
Dad: you don't like the stones..I can do Prince..*Starts singing Purple Rain and playing air guitar again*
Me: wow..
Dad: See that? Grade A skinny black man who turned himself into a symbol.*starts rapping* But sometimes man it just seems everybody only wants to discuss this must mean im disgusting..but it's just me I'm just obsene.
Me: Oh, you can do Eminem too?
Dad: Yeah, I'm like Universal Studios.

Dad Conversation Tuesday Feb.20th

My dad was in the process of vacuuming our house and he's muttering random things to himself like "YEAH! That's the part I wanted to get..HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FLOOR?" And then the vacuum got clogged and he ripped something very hairy out of the hose and this is how it went after:

Dad: YEAH HA! Look at that! I just did heart surgery on this son of a bitch!
Me: Heart Surgery huh? was it open heart?
Dad: No, just outter pulminary. But the good news is this hose will give you a pretty good hickie now.

Dad Conversation Monday Feb. 12th 2007

My dad just called the heating and cooling company to come and fix our heater and when he hung up the following conversation took place:

Dad: The guy asked if we were having a party and said he wouldnt come if we were.
Me: You're a story teller.
Angie: Yeah, he definitly didn't say that.
Dad: Okay, well whatever. You know how much this guy wants to come out here and take a look? $180.00!!!
Angie: Well, you got that in beer cans.

Those are just the first few I came across. Maybe I'll add some more sometime soon. For now the couch is calling me again, ughh!!

Have a happy Saturday!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Movie Night


Today was rough. I went out to the cemetery and visited my mom and dad's grave. It's the first time I've seen the new stone in the day light. It's so beautiful. It's really weird how some people do all of their grieving right away, while others it takes weeks, months and years. I think I'm definitely a delayed griever.

It happens though, and I know I will be okay. So it's time to move past it.

Anyway, besides today I have been very happy lately. I've finally figured out that I can talk about my feelings, and that it doesn't weird people out as much as it weirds me out. I'm really grateful for all the people in my life that I've suddenly found it so easy to talk to. No one probably even realizes how much they've helped me heal.

Either way..

It's Friday now though, so that means Movie Night. I'm not sure what we're going to watch but I STILL want to see 500 days of Summer. Zooey DesChanel is my girrrrrl.

That's all I've got for today, I know it's kind of a cop out but I had to post at least SOMETHING before I head out for Movie Night. It's hard telling when I'd be back, and I refuse to fail.

Have a good Friday everyone,
I'll talk atcha tomorrow.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Week One Ends..

Hello One Week Mark!

Don't let my exclamation point fool you. I am in no mood to do anything today. Basically my body is screaming "Go to the doctor, you dumb fuck!" I literally feel like the pain monster has inserted a hook into my belly button and is wiggling it around in there trying to rip out all of my internal organs while simultaneously bashing my head in with a bag-o-bricks.


So, I have opted to not open the blinds, push the cushions back on the couch and watch everything on the DVR. For now anyway, at some point I need to do laundry, put together this week's Movie Night menu, and unload the dishwasher. I will not take a shower, get dressed, or take Macie for her daily walk - wait, who am I trying to kid? Macie hasn't been on a walk since last August, I was just trying to sound like I sometimes do things that are productive. Anyway, my point is that I feel like complete and utter garbage today and I want to do nothing but sleep.

I was still thinking about telling "The Bolles Harbor Bomber" story, but I'm really just not feeling into it. Plus I thought maybe I should tell The Bomber I'm going to write about him before I actually do. But that would mean that he would, you know, have to answer my phone calls or call me back once in a while. You'd think he was Justin Timberlake or something (Justin never answers my calls either - asshole.) Anyway, I don't see that happening so one day I will just have to run with it.

Don't you love how I keep making empty promises? I can see this is going to be a really healthy relationship...

Wait, shhh! Do you hear that? It's the couch calling my name. I have to go before he gets upset. Plus I'm just huuurrrtttinnnggg.

So, unless you're ridiculously good looking, plan on bringing me over food and drinks, or want to come do my laundry and rub my back - please stay away today.

Oh! You may come over if you can make that HORRIBLE banging sound from outside stop. Just make it stooooooppppppp. Please?!

Peace out my loves. I hope you're all having a better day than I am and just in case you're not, I leave you with this:

"Like fruit, children are sweetest just before they turn bad."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Good Day -

I know I promised a family story today but we're going to have to save it for another day because there are a few things I want to talk about.

Hopefully by now most of you are aware that yesterday in Haiti there was a massive earthquake, the worst one they've seen in over 200 years. As of today there is no estimation of casualties but it's believed to be in the thousands.

This is very tragic and it hurts me to imagine what these people are going through. We can not stop tragedies of nature but we can help the people and places that they destroy. If you would like to help out, learn more or contribute in any way, please visit Everything counts, every thought, prayer and penny.

The second thing I feel like I need to say today is:


For my 16th birthday my sister Angie wrote me a song and one of the lines was "Your boobs are getting bigger/that much is clear/you're looking more like Conan than last year."

I kid you not, it would be Friday night and we would be at her house partying and what not and I would lock myself in the bedroom when Conan O'Brian came on (This was before I enjoyed the luxury of a DVR). She used to tell people I was in there with my boyfriend. I got heckled so much because of my love of Conan. I didn't care then and I do not care now.

So, this whole business with NBC, Conan and Jay is kind of getting under my skin. He waited six years to take over The Tonight Show so that he could host if for seven months? I really don't even see the point in moving everything around. Sure, Jay Leno's ratings suck and it's taking away from Local News ratings, but shouldn't that be ground to give the boot to Jay and not fuck Conan over? It's not a fair situation, I do not like it.

Even if Conan keeps good on his word and doesn't do The Tomorrow Show at 12:35 I will support my imaginary boyfriend in whatever he chooses to do. In fact I hope he doesn't do The Tonight Show tomorrow. He should stand up for what is right, and Jay Leno and NBC are not right!

Stand your ground CoCo.

Anyway, short post today. I have a lot to get done, plus I'm not making much sense anyway. I've had a lot of my secret frozen coffee beverages...

Hopefully tomorrow there won't be any earthquakes or boyfriend troubles and I can tell you about "The Bolles Harbor Bomber." Yeah, that's my family story.

One more thing - Tila Tequila is a sociopath and someone really needs to get her some help.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Plan


Yesterday I had an epiphany. I don't think it was my Alexander Graham Bell moment because I didn't actually create anything great, but it MAY have been the beginning of the Great Perhaps*. When I said at the beginning of yesterday's blog that I was not diving into the Great Perhaps, but diving into my beginning, I didn't know how right AND how wrong I was.

I did dive into my beginning, and I shared some of my most personal thoughts and made the most important story of my life public. I didn't know that in the process of doing this that I would realize my calling:

I have to write a book.

I didn't say "I want to write a book." I said I HAVE to, because I do, and that's just how it feels. I've always kind of toyed with the idea of writing one, but I never thought seriously about it, until now. So I jumped on Twitter and asked my favorite writer friend for some advice. He told me that the key to it all is to make sure I learn to write even when I don't want to. It all makes perfect sense, of COURSE that is why this blog was started, I didn't want to write today but here I am.

Now, I'm not one to generally believe in fate, or anything along those lines but I feel like this is My Meant to Be. Something inside my brain clicked on January 8th and told me to just start writing, to make a project out of it. Now I know that's because writing is going to have a bigger role in my life than I ever imagined.

So here's my plan:

I'm going to finish my 358 day blogging project, it will teach me to keep writing even when I don't want to. During this time I will be collecting my stories, roughing them out, and figuring out the next step.

That's all I have for now. I want to take it slow because I want to do it right. I need to teach myself to be a good writer, a patient writer.

So here I am, five days into this blog and I feel accomplished. I feel like it has done for me what I set out for it to do. I'm feeling good.

Tomorrow I have plans to tell another family story, though this one will be far less sad and a lot more crazy.

Until then I leave you with my true inspiration for "The Great Perhaps."

"'Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.' "
— John Green (Looking for Alaska)

Mull that over, roll it around in your mouth for a while.
I'll be back tomorrow.


Monday, January 11, 2010

The End of The End.


Today I feel like being serious. I'm not diving into the Great Perhaps, but I am diving into my great beginning. To tell you about my beginning, I have to start at the end, which is also a beginning.

The end happened on September 19th, 2009. Next Tuesday it will be four months. Four months since the world as I knew it just stopped, and I was on pause. I wasn't feeling, or wondering why. I just was. I had lost the single most important thing in my life and realized that the phrase "You never know what you have until you've lost it," is the truest thing anyone has ever spoken.

Now we jump backward to March 14th, 1991. 25 days shy of entering my second year of life. 6,764 days before the end. That day the greater piece of my father's heart was buried with the love of his life, the mother to his six children, and the woman that it slowly killed him to live without. In what was left of his hollow heart, he knew he had to survive. He had to keep going to make sure there was a comfortable, if not always flourishing, life for his children.

He had been working the night shift loading Hi-Lo trucks for Pepsi Cola Co. and continued to do so, making a pretty decent living and making sure we didn't go without anything that we needed. We moved into a giant five bedroom house on the lake, and we led The Good Life, to say the least.

He eventually married again in 1995. Her name was Rose Marie and he met her when she called the house from Milford, Connecticut selling encyclopedias. They hit it off and before anyone knew it, Dad was on a road trip with me in tow to meet the woman who swept him away with encyclopedias. I remember laying on her living room floor whining because I wasn't allowed to call home and talk to my sister when I saw him get down on one knee and pop the question. She said yes, and so on the way home he had a new wife AND me in tow. I couldn't be bothered by this, because at that point I had never really given the idea of having a mother any thought. I liked her, I was six so I liked everyone. To say that my brothers and sisters liked her would be a lie though. She was a decent woman, but had MS so there were mild mental issues. The marriage lasted until I was in forth grade, when my dad packed her things and sent her back. It was cruel, but there is only so much one man can handle. I still love her to this day, even though it's been over eleven years since I've seen her. I still look for ways to contact them sometimes, though I know she is in a fragile state and it wouldn't be fair.

In 1998, several months after my oldest brother left for the military my dad slipped a disc in his back while loading the hi-los. He had to have double back surgeries and was never able to work again. Things went seriously down hill from that point. He began drinking heavily, and abusing his pain medication for his back. Eventually he had his doctor take him off of the pain meds, but the drinking continued. He was depressed, and quite frankly I don't blame him. He lost two wives and his job. Things went on this way for years, half the time he wouldn't even want to get out of bed. My brothers were out of control, my sister Holly had long ago moved out and on with her life, starting her family, and Angie was trying to be the first one in the family to graduate High School.

The summer before my 8th grade year Dad met a crazy little woman from Logan West Virginia who was working at the bait store down the road from our house. The house was being foreclosed on and it was only a matter of time before my dad and I didn't have anywhere to go. He was in the middle of a lawsuit against Pepsi for his disability benefits, and he was broke. I started off my eighth grade year with the few clothes kim bought me, and living in an apartment with my sister Angie across the street from my middle school. Eventually in November Kim somehow managed to buy a trailer on her Bait Shop salary, and we all moved into it. The Bolles Harbor house was gone.

I was devastated, I went from our crazy five bedroom house on the beach, to a trailer. I made different friends out there though and drifted from the preppy kids to the punk kids, and it's where I stayed. That April my dad's settlement from Pepsi finally came through and we were living the good life once again. We took trips, and I got to invite my best friend Danielle, we had nice things, but we never moved out of the trailer and I was okay with that. It was home now.

My was chill about the things I did. I was his youngest and he always told me he made a promise to my mom to make sure I got to be 18 and to keep me happy. So he did, he let me live my life, dye my hair blue and party when I wanted to. I never really got out of control though, I dabbled in pills, and pot, and the occasional hallucinogen but have long since put the drugs to rest. I had the best friends through high school, and even though we were crazy 15 year olds, we all seem to have turned out well.

When I turned 18, in the spring of 2007 I moved in with my sister Angie. She had a tiny situation and I spent a lot of that time taking care of my god son and nephew Jayden. Dad would come and visit, but not often because you had to walk up three flights of stairs and he was usually too drunk to make it. But when he did come, the hilarity was a sure thing. He was the funniest man you could ever imagine. He even made one year old Jayden laugh.

Living with Angie was good while it lasted but a year later in the spring of 2008, we both decided it was time to move on and she needed to be with her new little family. So I moved back in with Dad and Kim and things we're good. Money was a little tight by this point, but it didn't matter. I spent that summer with them, and I am forever grateful that I did. In September my sister Holly bought a house and asked if I wanted to come live with her. She lived about 40 minutes away from my dad and my friends, so it was a tough decision but one I ultimately accepted.

I spent the next year seeing my dad only about once or twice a month, though sometimes for a few days at a time. We got phone calls, and a few of them were grim toward the end of 2008. Kim would call and say they were both really sick. I never really took them seriously though, and I don't know why. Maybe it was because my whole life I knew my dad was a story teller and a hypochondriac, just like me. On The Fourth of July 2009 we all gathered at my dad's trailer to have a get together, everyone was there. It was really lovely until Kim said she felt awful and needed to go to the hospital. She apparently had not been kidding when she told me how sick she was. On July 22nd after two weeks of being hospitalized she passed away, and was finally with her daughter Kristina, who had died in 2006. There was no funeral, and her mother treated my dad very poorly. That's what comes with grief though, people do not act like they should. I think the fact that none of us ever got to say goodbye made things easier, or perhaps harder. It depends on how you look at it.

So for the next two months my dad was alone, not truly alone because my brother's Ollie and Tony still lived in Monroe. Joe had moved four hours away shortly after Kim's death. Sometime in late August we got a call from U of M hospital saying our dad had been taken there. Apparently he wasn't feeling well. They ran some test and gave him special diet instructions and sent him home. A few weeks later at the beginning of September he wasn't answering his phone. My sister Angie took a drive to Monroe to find him laying on the couch as though he hadn't moved in days. We packed up his things and I drove him straight to St. Joe's hospital down the road from our house. The doctor there told us if he didn't get a liver transplant within 24 hours he was going to die. That doctor sent us to U of M where we got the news that he had liver cancer, (a fat that he conviently didn't tell anyone about) that had multiplied by thousands in the few weeks since he was last there. The cancer was streaming off into his blood causing cell cancer. The liver failure was causing my dad a lot of confusing and he didn't really understand what was going on, hence the reason he didn't leave his couch for days. The doctors told us the best thing we could do for him is take him home and let him pass comfortably.

So on September 17th, an ambulance brought him to Holly's house and Hospice of Ann Arbor set up shop in the living room. Many of his brother's and sisters came in from Georgia and Florida to be with him in his last days. On the 18th, after realizing that all of the kids had seen him but Joe, I made the four hour drive to Prescott Michigan with Danielle to pick him up. We didn't get back until about 9pm. Joe sat by his side every second that he was here. In the middle of the night it was apparent that things were taking a turn for the worse so we called a Hospice nurse and not long after she was here my dad passed away at 4:25am, but not without a fight. Just moments before he passed I walked out of the room because I really didn't think it was going to happen, I thought he was just having a fit. I made it to my kitchen sink when I heard a blood curtailing scream come from my sister Angie and my Aunt Judy told me I needed to get in there, but it was too late. He was already gone. I believe in my heart that he wanted it that way, he didn't want me to see the look that is still haunting my sisters to this day. He saved me from that, and I am forever grateful.

It's been 114 days - 16 weeks since the end. Sixteen Fridays have passed, I've seen 4:25am 114 times and never once does it get easier. Never once do I think "Wow, I didn't think about Dad today." He is an ever present force in my life. Even though he wasn't perfect, he was perfect for me. I wouldn't be the person I am without him. I wouldn't be able to be sarcastic, or tell ridiculous jokes. I wouldn't know how to cook, or know that I can't become an alcoholic because it will kill me. (Really, I probably wouldn't know that.) Most of all I wouldn't know how to never give up on people, or myself. My dad was heartbroken from the very moment my mother died, and it never got easier for him. I would catch him weeping in his favorite chair at the kitchen table in the middle of the night. Through all of this, he never waved a white flag, because he knew we needed him, that Kim needed him. He didn't give up on anything. Even when the doctors told him of his cancer through his dementia he said "We're going to fight it, it'll be fine." In the end though, his body wouldn't let him fight anymore. But I think he knew that he raised us to be a tight knit little community. We have each other. Three boys, and three girls who are nothing alike and have absolutely nothing in common, yet we are one.

We are one because of him.

Here we are, 114 days later - back at the beginning because the end has to stop somewhere. It can not just keep going on forever because eventually it would engulf us. We have to live, because that is what he wanted to do. If he can live through us, then he can live forever.


In Memory of Ollie Warren Wright Jr.
August 15th, 1953 - September 19th, 2009

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Designated Faith


I've made it to day three. Well, as long as a meteor doesn't drop from the sky, or my house doesn't catch on fire before I post this. I think I can probably beat the odds though.

Last night I experienced something very different. I played Designated Driver. I've never played DD before for two reasons: the first being that for the most part I am always hammered. I could be wrong but I think to be a DD you have to be sober, don't hold me to that though. Reason number two is that up until recently when people were in the car while I was driving they either a) peed their pants or b) had a heart attack. I'm a terrible driver, and I have terrible road rage. I don't know where I get it from because my dad drove like he was 87 years old and my siblings are all pretty decent drivers. So, I guess along with being the black sheep of the family I also inherited terrible driving skills. Go figure.

Anyway, I get to this particular bar and sit down with my friends and immediately feel a little goofy. I'm wedged in between two people who have basically been drinking since the sun came up and I get to hear their random stories of the day. As I'm sitting there listening to my rambling friends I look up at the bar to see a girl in pink pajama bottoms and a belly shirt sitting next to a girl in a Lion's jersey. Wait, what?! A LIONS JERSEY. I was embarrassed for her, clearly her friends have not clued her in that the Lions are TERRIBLE and it hasn't been cool to wear their jersey since about 2002. Actually, I don't know if it was ever cool to wear a Lions Jersey. Anyway, Lions Jersey Janet and PJ Pam go back over to their table and I forget about them for a while.

In the mean time this guy that we dubbed White Cap Guy who was sporting a wedding band and apparently was from NC was making googly eyes at our table and buying rounds of Budweiser (against his will, this bar ran out of everything else...) One of my friends wanted to do karaoke with him and they were looking through the book together and she said "So, what song would your wife want us to sing?" and he was like "Uh, duh uhh Material Girl, Madonna..the one you said." Needless to say White Cap Guy was a complete and utter tool box. But he bought beer, so they let it slide.

As this is going on I see one friend flirting with some men that had to be in their mid 40's, another friend being hit on by a guy in an over sized, white, stained t shirt, and an old women with no teeth carrying around roses in a mini trash can trying to sell them. In the very mist of all of this Jersey Janet and PJ Pam get on stage. They sing "Barbie Girl." I cried from happiness. Just as I thought things couldn't get better, I see a DIFFERENT WHITE guy in a greasy, sweaty, white stained T shirt. His was also over sized but that was only because he was about 432lbs. As I watch him make his way to the stage a smile spreads across my face. I am going to see this man sing, I didn't care what he was singing, I just needed to see it happen...

I don't think I will be able to describe the pure bliss I felt when I heard "OH.MY.GOD.BECKY - Look at her butt.." I wasn't going to hear his sing, I was going to hear him RAP. When he started I knew that I could die right then and feel like I led a complete, happy life. He tore it up. He did dance moves and sang every single word without even looking. This is when I realized that Baby Got Back is what his life consisted of. No one knows every word to that song unless they've worked their entire lives to achieve it. That is also the point when I realized 2011's New Years Resolution. I am obviously going to learn the lyrics to Baby Got Back.

So all in all my stint as Designated Driver was a success. Everyone got home safely and I got to sleep like a rock without having the side effects of a hangover.

I'm sure entirely sure what's on my agenda for today. I know that "In the Land of Women" is on my DVR so hopefully I'll lay around and watch that. Perhaps I'll blog again, maybe I'll stumble upon my Alexander Graham Bell moment, or find The Great Perhaps. I doubt it though, that's for another day.

OH! Speaking of The Great Perhaps today is Alaska Young Day! If you have not read Looking for Alaska by John Green I highly recommend it. It's one of the best books I've ever had the pleasure of putting into my brains.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

Blood, Snot and Barack Obama

Hello Journey to Alcoholism!

It's 9:48 in the am, and it's chaos! Already today I have had to hear the house alarm go off, wipe away snot bubbles, save a baby from nose diving down the stairs and argue with a seven year old. I've been up for approximately seven minutes. I can see this is clearly going to be a terrific day! I just can't wait to see what happens next!

The funniest part about all of this though is while I was sleeping I was having a dream I got into a GIANT elevator and as the doors closed I was slammed backward and fell on my ass (revealing to myself the adorable outfit I was wearing) and as I look up my friend Ryan was walking into the elevator with Barack Obama. As soon as the elevator closed (because apparently the Obama is so special elevators open twice for him) the house alarm went off in my house waking me up. I thought this was rather unfortunate seeing as I haven't dreamt about Obama since before the election when I dreamt he was my dad and died. Dreadful.

Anyway, as I said there is chaos in my house and I wanted to update before someone ends up broken and in the hospital. No one wants to fail on their second day in a committed relationship.

Hopefully I'll get a chance to update later and we can dive into something more in depth such as Tila Tequila's twitter rants. If not, there is ALWAYS tomorrow.

Oh, before I go: There is now a bloody lip. Suuuper.

Until next time..


Friday, January 8, 2010


I didn't make a resolution for 2010.

I had a ridiculously rough 2009, so I figured I would just take on 2010 one day at a time. Plus, let's face it, I'm a slacker. I don't have expectations, I don't sit and ponder The Great Perhaps or think of ways to improve the world, and I certainly didn't set a goal for 2010.

That is, until now.

Last year Maureen Johnson did this project called "Blog Every Day April." Naturally I didn't participate, because I'm a slacker and would never commit to something so huge. However I have decided to borrow her idea, and for the first time in my life, commit to something. I'm starting one of these projects for myself and I will call it "Blog Every Day 2010 Except the First Seven Days." We will call it BEDTTETFSD for short. I think it sounds pretty catchy.

For the next 358 days I will ramble, I will review, and I will probably talk about a lot of pointless stuff. I may even dive into The Great Perhaps or FINALLY have my Alexander Graham Bell moment. Who knows? Only time will tell...

and darlin', we've got nothing but time.

C'est la vie!