Yesterday I had an epiphany. I don't think it was my Alexander Graham Bell moment because I didn't actually create anything great, but it MAY have been the beginning of the Great Perhaps*. When I said at the beginning of yesterday's blog that I was not diving into the Great Perhaps, but diving into my beginning, I didn't know how right AND how wrong I was.
I did dive into my beginning, and I shared some of my most personal thoughts and made the most important story of my life public. I didn't know that in the process of doing this that I would realize my calling:
I have to write a book.
I didn't say "I want to write a book." I said I HAVE to, because I do, and that's just how it feels. I've always kind of toyed with the idea of writing one, but I never thought seriously about it, until now. So I jumped on Twitter and asked my favorite writer friend for some advice. He told me that the key to it all is to make sure I learn to write even when I don't want to. It all makes perfect sense, of COURSE that is why this blog was started, I didn't want to write today but here I am.
Now, I'm not one to generally believe in fate, or anything along those lines but I feel like this is My Meant to Be. Something inside my brain clicked on January 8th and told me to just start writing, to make a project out of it. Now I know that's because writing is going to have a bigger role in my life than I ever imagined.
So here's my plan:
I'm going to finish my 358 day blogging project, it will teach me to keep writing even when I don't want to. During this time I will be collecting my stories, roughing them out, and figuring out the next step.
That's all I have for now. I want to take it slow because I want to do it right. I need to teach myself to be a good writer, a patient writer.
So here I am, five days into this blog and I feel accomplished. I feel like it has done for me what I set out for it to do. I'm feeling good.
Tomorrow I have plans to tell another family story, though this one will be far less sad and a lot more crazy.
Until then I leave you with my true inspiration for "The Great Perhaps."
"'Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.' "
— John Green (Looking for Alaska)
Mull that over, roll it around in your mouth for a while.
I'll be back tomorrow.