Survival

Today I've been thinking a lot about Shane. It's actually a rare occurrence for me to think about him so much. Don't get me wrong, I think about him regularly but for about the last week he's been weighing heavily on my mind. It's so strange to me that everyone has just picked up and gone on with their lives. That's what's going to happen with my dad and Kim soon. I know it, soon we're going to make it through entire days with out them crossing our minds. In a way I'm looking forward to it, but in a way I'm dreading it. All of their memories are slowly fading, just like their tattoos inked on my skin. Slow healing, fading a little bit - but always still there. The weird thing is that until I started writing this blog, I completely forgot that this coming up Thursday will be one year since Kim passed away.

You see what I mean? Everything is just slipping from me and I think that's why Shakey has been on my mind so much. I've let him go, and only realized it this past week. I've freed myself from guilt, and pain - and here I am. Still alive, still beating.

I'm proud of myself. One down, two to go.

Good Saturday everyone.
Faith