Bland.

Bland sucks.

All that I've got to indulge myself in today was a Capri Sun, and some white rice. It was awesome, let me tell you. I did find a whole list of things I can eat though, besides the initial rice, bread, and apples that they told me. So I suppose that's a plus. I am feeling a bit better today though, so maybe my doctor isn't as crazy as I thought he was. I suppose producing too much acid is logical. The down side to it all is that I'm SO tired. This minty lime jello tasting elixir is making me so sleepy, and it's also blurring my vision and drying out my mouth. Hopefully it's not with me forever, that would suck to be a living zombie for the rest of time. I have another doctor appointment tomorrow but I'm probably going to cancel it because I looked her up today and it's a pediatrician. I'd only be able to see her for like 40 more days and then I'd have to find someone new. So I'm going to look into finding a doctor I can see on a long term basis. See, I told you guys I was going to start taking care of myself.

I do have other good news today! I've decided to go back to school, this whole not educating myself thing is not working out the way I thought it would. I know that I have deep embedded issues with people telling me what to do, but I think that it would be better than being cooped up and not talking to anyone besides thirteen and seven year old girls. Also a dog. After so long it's bound to make a person crazy. Plus if I'm out and about I probably won't be thinking about how badly I want to eat spicy buffalo wings or something. It's a perfect time to start life on a new foot. Um, I'm also doing this because my sister bitched me out yesterday and like I said I hate when people tell me what to do, so I'm going to do it before she tells me to. I sort of have that "I'm never going to be good enough" complex going on. I'm not really sure where it came from but it's bad to the point where I get super pissed off about it. It's really a horrible thing seeing as I can tie it into basically anything in my life. I hate it.

So I'm turning a new leaf, and I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I know the direction my life is going and I'm a lot more motivated than people give me credit for. Maybe if ANYONE would take the time to smell the roses of my life they would get that. But no one ever does.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Faith