Friday, April 23, 2010

Less Than Four

Right this second is the first time I've thought about blogging all day. It's just been one of those days where it kind of just slipped my mind.

It could be because I've been working really hard on something this past week and just now in a matter of 15 minutes, I completely blew it. I'm so disappointed in myself, but I know I can get it all fixed tomorrow. It just sucks when I fail at something. I feel really shitty about it. I know that I don't need to sit around and beat myself up, but I'm kind of mad. To the point where if I had someone to join me, I'd totally drink a glass of wine and lay on the trampoline and wallow in self pity.

Hahaha - it's whatever. I'm not going to think about it any more today. For now, I'll be happy.

On a different, more serious note:

Tonight, I'm hoping to be able to catch up with an old friend that I've been meaning to tell some things to. He is more important to me than I think he ever realized. So in case I never find the right words at the right time, I want to dedicate this blog to him.

P -

Every major event in my life since I was like, 17 - you've been there for me. Everything anyone could think of, we've shared with each other. You've always been there for me unconditionally, in a way no one else probably could have. When my dad died you knew the things to NOT say, and would sit there and listen to me in my drunken grief, blabbing about delayed grieving and God. You were there when I lost my virginity (not psychically, but you know.) You talked me through the weird emotions and eventually told me to suck it up, because shit happens. You've been with me through births, birthdays, weird obsessions with The Jonas Brothers, and even got Maureen Johnson to tell me Happy Birthday (it wasn't John Green, but close enough.) One year you were even my Valentine, because I was a cold, lonely girl.

I wish everyone could have a friend like that, but unfortunately there is only one of you, and I doubt you could befriend the world.

S.A.R.P - You know who you are, and you know you will always hold the most special place in my heart. We can go days, weeks and on occasions even months with out talking, and I can pick it right back up with you. Nothing every changes between us, not from the beginning, and not at the end. I'm always going to need you, no matter how much I grow up.

Thank you for just being -- less than four.


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